09 Feb Finding Satisfaction in Singledom
But godliness with contentment is great gain. Are you the type that grumbles when things are inadequate for you? Or, are you battling with discontentment about your personality? You must know that discontentment gives rise to destructive behaviors when not dealt with. Therefore, it’s vital to attain inner satisfaction while single. – 1 Timothy 6:6
Nowadays, so many single women are living with a deep void in their hearts. Craving for what can fill it up. They go about their day-to-day life with low self-esteem, resulting in people-pleasing attitudes. At that point they suffer from mental and emotional traumas, as the thought of feeling like they are not good enough overwhelms their hearts. These sets of women explore external sources in an attempt to fill the void that only God can fill. Hiding under the disguise of career success, academic certificates, awards, wealth, houses, flashy cars, beautiful dress and shoes, jewelry, and more. But in the end, the void is yet to be filled.
Subsequently, the inferiority complex takes over their lives, giving others the free will to trample upon their rights. The aftermath of this is expressed in their poor mental health, emotional feelings, shabby physical appearance, and diminished spiritual growth.
Discontentment about themselves propels them to seek the approval of men rather than God’s approval. Their greatest fear is a state of abandonment and rejection. Singles living with discontentment thinks by changing their personality into that of someone else will attract their Mr-Right, but that’s untrue. Living a double lifestyle will bring you sadness, take away your peace of mind and drive away your Mr-Right. Pretending to be someone else to sustain a relationship is the fastest route to tarnish your image as God’s jewel and eventually, destroy that relationship.
Singledom is that phase where you grow to the point of inner satisfaction, a point where you become complete and content in Christ Jesus. Him alone can occupy that void in your heart and not a man, or a career, or any other external things. Sustaining an intimate relationship with God stops you from seeking the approval of men about your self-worth, instead, what God thinks about you becomes your primary focus.
The moment the void in you is filled with God’s love, it boosts your self-esteem, gives you a positive view of yourself, stimulates both your inner and outer beauty, which attracts your Mr-Right. However, without inner satisfaction you become a burden to your future husband, making things difficult for him, as a result of your discontentment with whatever he provides. This attitude can crack your home apart. No man appreciates a dissatisfied woman in his life, because her presence wrecks his labor in providing the necessities for his family.
A perfect illustration of a woman that exhibits inner satisfaction is the proverb, 31 women. The Bible said this woman is virtuous, her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, you know why? He believes that she is satisfied with whatever he can provide without grumbling. Her husband lacks nothing of value, above all, she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life (Proverb 31: 10-12). Indeed, her character is worth emulating.
Furthermore, attaining inner satisfaction is obtainable. You don’t need to harbor the fear of rejection when you express your true identity. To develop inner satisfaction, become dedicated to planting seeds of self-discipline, gentleness, love, peace, generosity, patience, and persistence in the soil of your heart. Likewise, uprooting weeds of self-centeredness, promiscuity, negative self-comparison, anger, impatience, strife, envy, jealousy, dishonesty, and hate.
Also, speak positive affirmative words daily to yourself. Keep on reminding yourself of your true identity in Christ; “I am wonderfully and fearfully made by God, I’m His workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works, I’m the apple of His eyes, in Him I’m complete, what matters most is God’s approval about me not that of humans, I’m his precious pearl, all my needs are supplied through Christ Jesus, I’m a daughter of a king, and I am a work in progress in God’s hand, I believe He would perfect all that concerns me.”
Subsequently, unrealistic expectations are trimmed off during the phase of inner satisfaction. Moderate the list of the features your Mr-Right must possess before you accept him. I’m not against you having such a list, all I’m saying is that you come to understand that no man is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Hence, Don’t turn down every man who approaches you, because they are below your standard.
However, your primary requirement should stem from the basis of his faith, is he God-fearing? Do you both share the same faith? Furthermore, pray about it. Hear what apostle Paul says about mingling with other persons from a different faith;
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14
And although looks are good, looks are not enough to sustain a marriage. I pray that you shall encounter the joy of the singledom in Jesus’ name.