24 Mar The Weight of Rest: What Ruth Taught Me About Singleness
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
There’s a kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. The kind that sits in your bones, the weight of carrying too much for too long. And sometimes, in the middle of it, we find ourselves longing—not just for rest, but for someone to share the weight.
For me, that longing has shown up in ways I didn’t even realise. It wasn’t loud or desperate, but quiet, subtle. A thought here, a feeling there. Maybe if I had a husband, this would be easier or had a partner to help with this and that.
But the Holy Spirit interrupted me with a lesson I wasn’t expecting.
And somehow, Ruth’s story was at the centre of it all.
When Exhaustion Exposes the Heart
Life has been heavy. Not falling apart, just a lot. Work, responsibilities, being the eldest daughter—it all stacks up. And when I get overwhelmed, I’ve noticed this pattern in myself: I start imagining how different life would feel if I
weren’t carrying it alone.
I don’t mean in an obvious, “God, where’s my husband?” kind of way. But in the smaller thoughts.
If I had someone to remind me to eat well, to make sure I’m resting, to share the weight of it all…
I didn’t even notice I was thinking like this until a male friend pointed out that I had lost weight. Not in a passing comment kind of way, but in genuine concern. Are you okay? Are you looking after yourself?
And that moment of care, of feeling seen—it did something to me.
But right there, God pressed pause.
“Look deeper.”
And what He showed me? It wrecked me.
The Lie We Believe About Rest
I had unknowingly tied my sense of rest to a future season. To marriage. To have a partner who could help me slow down, who would remind me to take care of myself, who would create a safe space for me to breathe.
But the Holy Spirit confronted and convicted that thinking.
“Rest is not something you wait for. It’s something you cultivate now.”
And it hit me: I was looking for an easy way out.
Instead of learning to set boundaries, instead of learning to listen to my body, instead of choosing rhythms of grace now—I was hoping that marriage would fix it for me.
But marriage isn’t a shortcut to rest.
And that’s where Ruth came in.
Ruth’s Rest Wasn’t in Boaz—It Was in God
Ruth’s story is so often told through the lens of romance. People love talking about how Boaz saw her, protected her, and provided for her. And yes, that part is absolutely beautiful.
But what about everything that came before?
What about Ruth who left everything to follow Naomi? What about Ruth who had every reason to stay where it was safe, to choose the easier option? But she didn’t. She surrendered.
“Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.” – Ruth 1:16
Ruth didn’t chase a husband. She didn’t chase an outcome. She chased God. And that’s what changed everything.
She was already walking in obedience. Already walking in surrender. And because of that, when Boaz came, he wasn’t the source of her security—God already was.
That’s what I desire.
Choosing Fullness in the Now
This season of singleness is not a waiting room for the “real thing.” It’s not a limbo where I just sit around until marriage unlocks my best life.
It’s a place where fullness is available right now.
Jesus has already given me permission to rest.
Jesus has already made me whole.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
That’s the invitation. Not when I have a husband.
Not when life feels easier.
Not when the weight lifts.
But now.
So I’m learning. Learning to listen when my body says, Hey, you need a break. Learning to set boundaries that protect my peace. Learning to let God carry the weight, instead of hoping a future husband will do it for me.
Because if I can surrender here—if I can cultivate rest now—then whatever comes next, whether marriage, motherhood, or new seasons, I’ll walk into it already whole.
Already at peace.
Already living from a place of fullness.
Just like Ruth.
And that? That is enough.
Reflection Prompts
As you sit with this, here are some questions to take to God:
• Have I been postponing rest, peace, or joy for a future season?
• In what ways have I believed that marriage would “fix” parts of my life?
• How is God inviting me to experience fullness in this season?
• What practical steps can I take to prioritize rest, boundaries, and self-care now?
Write them down. Pray through them. Let God speak.
A Prayer for This Season
Father, I surrender this season to You. I lay down the belief that I have to wait for a future moment to experience rest, peace, and joy. Help me to see that everything I need is already in You. Teach me to walk in Your rhythms of grace. To trust You in the now. To find wholeness, not in what’s coming, but in the presence of the One who is already here. I give You my heart, my desires, my waiting. Let this season be one of joy, contentment, and deep intimacy with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Start your journey and Live This Out
Rest isn’t just a concept—it’s something we practice. So this week, I want to challenge you:
• Schedule intentional rest (a slow morning, an evening walk, a moment to pause).
• Set one boundary that protects your peace.
• Do something that brings you joy—not because you “deserve” it, but because God delights in your joy too.
Let’s not wait for a future season to live well. Let’s start now.
Hi, I’m Chola Tshilanga! A passionate content creator and digital expert using her gift of writing to help others live a more intentional life in God while fulfilling their purpose, using God’s word as a compass.
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