02 Oct In need of my own Cup of Faith
It’s been a while since I have had a moment to sit down and just write. Besides feeling ashamed and like I have failed, I honestly don’t know where to begin. In a way, I feel like my ideas and stories have all run dry and while I know in my heart of hearts that it isn’t the case, I can’t help but feel like I am just not equipped to run this platform as I had hoped.
For more than a year, I had this big idea. I wanted to create a platform for Christian women to connect with one another, I wanted to review and feature local artists and authors, share stories from young and old, and build an online community. I held back launching just another blog, because there were so many other features that I wanted to include, like a podcast, book reviews, prayer request and more! Eventually, I gave myself a date to launch my dream, knowing that if I didn’t put a date on it, this idea would always be just that!
At first, I thought the job to build this platform was too big for me to do on my own, but I was wrong, and God provided me with all the tools and resources that I needed to get started.
So, I had the platform, but my next challenge was finding women from around the world who would be willing to share their stories. I didn’t just want women who I knew personally; I wanted women of all ages and walks of life, women who would contribute a new perspective to the platform that I couldn’t personally provide.
And again, God provided.
I was in awe of the number of applications I received from people who wanted to contribute to Cup of Faith – a platform that hadn’t yet launched!
Next, I wanted to launch a podcast – but had no idea how or where to begin.
Again, God pointed me in the right direction and now, Cup of Faith is accessible on every Podcast application and directory.
Finally, launch day came and went, and the platform has grown so much quicker than I had anticipated, and anytime I feel like I am going to run out of content, my lovely and committed contributors send a new article, poem or review without me even asking – how blessed am I!
God always and continues to provide for me and this platform. In fact, a few weeks ago, when I asked Him whether I was on the right path in pursuing Cup of Faith, or whether I had imagined the whole thing, I received a number of reasons to keep going.
So then, why do I feel like I am not doing enough?
Part of it is that I wish I could be doing more – because I know I can be doing more, but right now, I just don’t have the time. I recognize the fact that I am an all or nothing sort of girl and feel guilty for not running myself empty to make sure there’s new content every single day.
But another and bigger part of it is that I feel like I am not experienced enough like I don’t know enough about the Word to be writing about it. I feel like before I can comment or share my story, I need to soak up as much knowledge as I possibly can.
Perhaps this was a mistake, but I have joined a few groups with the hope of connecting with others and instead of finding inspiration, I am getting so caught up in comparison, that it’s stolen my joy. I feel like others find it so easy to share so openly, and like they have a deeper understanding of what it means to have a relationship with God. They effortlessly paint with words, confidently sharing about the work of our wonderful Father, quoting scriptures like it’s their second tongue, and always turning life into a testimony.
Of course, I am looking at this all wrong and should be inspired by other content creators and the way they’re sharing their stories. It’s remarkable seeing the work of our Father and just how blessed we truly are to serve such a loving and devoted Creator, but in the same breath, I feel like whatever I put into this space just isn’t enough.
And it’s that mindset that has been holding me back for the last month or so. (Well, that and the fact that I have been really ill lately and when I haven’t been sick, I have been super busy with work.) but I can say without a doubt, that if you care enough for something, you will make time for it and so that’s what I need to do. I need to get over this thinking and go back to basics. But more than that, I need to remind myself of some hard truths, ones that I want to share with you in case you find yourself feeling the same way:
- You don’t need to compete with anyone, nor do you need to impress anyone. Your faith journey is yours!
- If you have a calling to share your faith journey, follow it. It doesn’t need to be perfect! Remember that no one is keeping tabs or just waiting for you to fail so they can call you out. That’s the enemy’s voice hoping to discourage you, but our God is so much greater than that. Follow your calling and God will provide!
- You’re not going to wake up one day and know everything there is to know about your faith, so don’t feel like you’re ever to inexperienced to share your journey. Believe me, faith continues to grow and evolve everyday and what you know today will change so much in the next week, month, year and decade. But by sharing your voice today, you have the opportunity to encourage, inspire and help someone else who might only be discovering their faith and relates to you and your story!
- Don’t let comparison be the thing that held you back from doing what you want to. Remember that God created this amazing world and still thought that it needed YOU!
- One day, we’re going to be in God’s presence, and I want nothing more than to know that I did everything that He wanted for me. So, even when something seems scary, unfamiliar and challenging, I want to be able to look back on this moment and know that I didn’t miss out on the exciting path that God had prepared for me because I was scared or worried that I wasn’t good enough.
- Don’t feel discouraged when you don’t share the same talents as others. Some people are really good at singing, others are great at rattling off verses of the Bible, while others are great at expressing themselves creatively through beautiful Bible Journaling spreads. It doesn’t mean that because you don’t share their talents, that your faith journey is less significant and undeserving of being shared.
- There is no right way to share your faith journey. If you feel inclined to doing so, just start. It will likely be one of the best things you do!
This is the pep talk I needed to hear (or write for myself.) I know that I have so many ideas and hopes for this space and a big reason that feel discouraged is because I am putting an unreasonable amount of pressure on myself (like, I haven’t recorded a new podcast in a month because everything I work on doesn’t measure up to a full 20-minutes – how ridiculous! Just record, publish and let God take care of the rest!) It’s hard to shake the feeling of failure when you constantly feel like you’re not measuring up to the expectations set by yourself. But, I am going to change that!
I don’t know who needed to read this today. For all I know, I might have just needed to write it for myself, so I can get perspective and move on, but here’s to drinking up my own Cup of Faith.
I’m a beauty-obsessed, soccer-loving, keto-eating, picture-taking, occasional-blogging, faith-inspired, mom of two. I enjoy baking fresh treats for my family, exploring our local city, and looking for new family-friendly places for our kids to enjoy. On the weekends, you’ll find me supporting Tottenham, while pretending to know what I am doing in the Fantasy League. I can be bribed with chocolate and will never admit to having too much makeup – although, I probably do.