“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

There’s a kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix. The kind that sits in your bones, the weight of carrying too much for too long. And sometimes, in the middle of it, we find ourselves longing—not just for rest, but for someone to share the weight.

For me, that longing has shown up in ways I didn’t even realise. It wasn’t loud or desperate, but quiet, subtle. A thought here, a feeling there. Maybe if I had a husband, this would be easier or had a partner to help with this and that.

But the Holy Spirit interrupted me with a lesson I wasn’t expecting.

And somehow, Ruth’s story was at the centre of it all.

When Exhaustion Exposes the Heart

Life has been heavy. Not falling apart, just a lot. Work, responsibilities, being the eldest daughter—it all stacks up. And when I get overwhelmed, I’ve noticed this pattern in myself: I start imagining how different life would feel if I
weren’t carrying it alone.

I don’t mean in an obvious, “God, where’s my husband?” kind of way. But in the smaller thoughts.
If I had someone to remind me to eat well, to make sure I’m resting, to share the weight of it all…
I didn’t even notice I was thinking like this until a male friend pointed out that I had lost weight. Not in a passing comment kind of way, but in genuine concern. Are you okay? Are you looking after yourself?
And that moment of care, of feeling seen—it did something to me.

But right there, God pressed pause.

“Look deeper.”

And what He showed me? It wrecked me.

The Lie We Believe About Rest

I had unknowingly tied my sense of rest to a future season. To marriage. To have a partner who could help me slow down, who would remind me to take care of myself, who would create a safe space for me to breathe.
But the Holy Spirit confronted and convicted that thinking.
“Rest is not something you wait for. It’s something you cultivate now.”
And it hit me: I was looking for an easy way out.
Instead of learning to set boundaries, instead of learning to listen to my body, instead of choosing rhythms of grace now—I was hoping that marriage would fix it for me.

But marriage isn’t a shortcut to rest.

And that’s where Ruth came in.

Ruth’s Rest Wasn’t in Boaz—It Was in God

Ruth’s story is so often told through the lens of romance. People love talking about how Boaz saw her, protected her, and provided for her. And yes, that part is absolutely beautiful.
But what about everything that came before?
What about Ruth who left everything to follow Naomi? What about Ruth who had every reason to stay where it was safe, to choose the easier option? But she didn’t. She surrendered.
“Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people. Your God will be my God.” – Ruth 1:16
Ruth didn’t chase a husband. She didn’t chase an outcome. She chased God. And that’s what changed everything.

She was already walking in obedience. Already walking in surrender. And because of that, when Boaz came, he wasn’t the source of her security—God already was.

That’s what I desire.

Choosing Fullness in the Now

This season of singleness is not a waiting room for the “real thing.” It’s not a limbo where I just sit around until marriage unlocks my best life.

It’s a place where fullness is available right now.

Jesus has already given me permission to rest.

Jesus has already made me whole.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

That’s the invitation. Not when I have a husband.

Not when life feels easier.

Not when the weight lifts.

But now.

So I’m learning. Learning to listen when my body says, Hey, you need a break. Learning to set boundaries that protect my peace. Learning to let God carry the weight, instead of hoping a future husband will do it for me.
Because if I can surrender here—if I can cultivate rest now—then whatever comes next, whether marriage, motherhood, or new seasons, I’ll walk into it already whole.

Already at peace.

Already living from a place of fullness.

Just like Ruth.

And that? That is enough.

Reflection Prompts

As you sit with this, here are some questions to take to God:
• Have I been postponing rest, peace, or joy for a future season?
• In what ways have I believed that marriage would “fix” parts of my life?
• How is God inviting me to experience fullness in this season?
• What practical steps can I take to prioritize rest, boundaries, and self-care now?

Write them down. Pray through them. Let God speak.

A Prayer for This Season

Father, I surrender this season to You. I lay down the belief that I have to wait for a future moment to experience rest, peace, and joy. Help me to see that everything I need is already in You. Teach me to walk in Your rhythms of grace. To trust You in the now. To find wholeness, not in what’s coming, but in the presence of the One who is already here. I give You my heart, my desires, my waiting. Let this season be one of joy, contentment, and deep intimacy with You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Start your journey and Live This Out

Rest isn’t just a concept—it’s something we practice. So this week, I want to challenge you:
• Schedule intentional rest (a slow morning, an evening walk, a moment to pause).
• Set one boundary that protects your peace.
• Do something that brings you joy—not because you “deserve” it, but because God delights in your joy too.
Let’s not wait for a future season to live well. Let’s start now.

Chola Tshilanga

Hi, I’m Chola Tshilanga! A passionate content creator and digital expert using her gift of writing to help others live a more intentional life in God while fulfilling their purpose, using God’s word as a compass.

The post The Weight of Rest: What Ruth Taught Me About Singleness appeared first on Cup of Faith.

As I think about what to share, mothers day is around the corner. I would like to focus on a different aspect of motherhood. My thoughts go to those who stand at the crossroads of decision… as the baby moves a mother touches her growing body. Her heart is aching. She knows she cannot keep this little one, the social worker is awaiting her decision.

Circumstances beyond her control influence her decisions. With tears rolling down her cheeks she agrees to give this baby for adoption, to help another couple fulfil their longing and desires. The time of birth comes, she hears a cry in the distance. It is a pain indescribable, she has to let go and move on. Can God ever forgive her? She believes in God, suddenly she feels peace envelope her troubled heart. My grace is sufficient, comes to her mind. The years go by…she is married with 3 children, but the ache remains, hidden deep in her heart.

A child grows up with a loving mother and father knowing from a young age she was chosen to be in this family, but deep in this child’s heart, there is a missing part. Many questions as she grows up, something incomplete in her heart.

The child is now an adult and both her parents have passed away, she decides to initiate a search. She prays God will make away. He leads her every step of the way. A year later the phone rings, the social worker informs her she has spoken to her mother. With pounding heart and tears streaming down her cheeks as she listens. Her mother did not forget…The meeting was arranged 2days before Mothers Day that year, it was special with many answered questions. 32years of separation finally coming together to close a chapter and open another one.

God restores, God heals, God forgives, God is so good. I share this because it is part of my testimony. I was adopted, reconciled with my birth mother. God knows our deepest longings and desires. I think of those who have to make this difficult decision. God knows you and sees you in your pain and struggles. He will always be there to lift you and give you hope. For those who are adopted God chose you from your mother’s womb and had a plan and purpose in allowing you to be placed in a different family. My best wishes to all the moms for mothers day Sunday.

Charmaine Bester

I was saved when I was in my teens and love Jesus with all my heart. I love children, animals and baking. I believe God has a plan and purpose and will fulfil that purpose for our lives

The post He Will Never Forget appeared first on Cup of Faith.

When I was little, like most young girls one of the things we most desired was to wear makeup.  We wanted to have the darkest red or pink lips, painted nails and adorn the highest heels.  This was a combo ready to make us feel all grown up but above all else it made us feel and look pretty.  Pretty like Cinderella or a Bollywood queen.  Alas, for most of us living in a disciplined household this made makeup an unlikely reality for a 10-year-old (thankfully) until we were much older and possibly earning our own income.  Lucky for those who were born into the Tinkerbell era, “kiddie play lipstick was heaven sent.”  We breezed through primary school admiring our female teachers who wore perfect 80’s and 90’s makeup whilst we admired in silence.

Do you remember the first time you put on that Revlon matte Colour Stay lipstick?  This was all the rage back then and Revlon catered for darker-skinned complexions.  I loved grape and burgundy colours and felt so; ‘Rose’ like, onboard the, “Titanic” (If only I could have slapped my younger self). Fast forward to today and eons in between trying to find the right shade of foundation verses concealer coupled with which brand works better – it’s exhausting just to think about it.  Ladies far and wide can attest to those things that make us feel special and look pretty.  Makeup is like therapy for most, it really does make your face look, ‘perfect’, even if we do not necessarily feel like perfection. How can we hide away from this larger than life must-have? Makeup is everywhere, countless online tutorials, Hollywood, advertisements, magazines, television, billboards, you get the picture, it has become a part of our very mortal existence.  When we were younger, at some point in all our lives, we noticed that people tendered favour to the, ‘so-called pretty women’, who just happen to look like models, and it was there and then that some of us decided that makeup and pretty go hand in hand.

Ironically, my interpretation of the changing trends in fashion brought us different ways of applying makeup over the years.  From wearing too much makeup (80’s) to Goth early nighties, Cat eye, Racoon eye, Smokey eye to the Bare minimum of the Millennium to presently anything goes.  For me it’s much too complicated and I rather stick to the less is more routine (because it works for me).  I am in awe of those ladies who look like they have just stepped out of a Vogue cover shoot.

When I was 16, I had a crush on a boy that was four years older than me.  He was my, ‘Pacey’ from Dawson’s Creek.  It was mortifying to know that he did not recognise, ‘Plain Jane Me.’  I spent weeks planning my, ‘coming out party.’ Then on that fateful day it was time, ‘D’ day had arrived.  Hijacking the sister’s makeup, spending two hours to apply it, then throwing on jeans and a ribbed tank top (the imagery just made me a little sick – LOL) and add a dash of my sparkling personality, I was sure to reel in my crush.  Like with all major flops in life, this was epic.  I somehow knew where he would be and magically appeared, not much to my surprise when he greeted me and could not stop looking at me.  Here I was thinking it was a match made in heaven and for just a split second on Temple wood grounds, I could hear church bells ringing.  The ringing sound was indeed real and I could have easily mistaken his laughter out loud for bells.  Yes, he laughed out loud on my face and inquired, “Why do I resemble Casper?”  He then went on to ask,” Why where my lips bleeding?” and then to add major insult to injury, asked, “If I was on any medication?”  The entire situation left me baffled and honestly confused.  Okay, yes, I looked like a clown and should have asked for help with the makeup application or perhaps just not overdid it.  But as much as I laugh about it now and it should be duly noted that, ‘Pacey’ and I ended up been the best of buddies, I really wondered why us girls put ourselves through so much stress to look good for a boy?  Somewhere down the line, ‘someone or something,’ convinced me that, ‘Pretty’ meant that one changes or alters ‘something’ physically to enhance their own beauty and perception of beauty as told by, ‘others.’  I am sure that we darker skinned girls would be millionaires if we had a rand for every time someone complimented us for been pretty; wait for it, for a dark-skinned girl (that’s altogether another article).  Lingering with that same note, we bought into the whole idea that makeup made us pretty.  Surprisingly, my compliments have improved over the years, over the last five years I am told that I look awesome but would look so much better without my specs.  I wonder why, perhaps, “The nerdy look is not associated with been pretty.”  Luckily, I am not swayed that easily and therefore the specs shall remain at their current occupancy.

Well, our male counterparts definitely play a significant part of the, ‘Pretty girl syndrome’ saga.  I mean amidst the 101 reasons why men are attracted to women, one of them is clearly superficial beauty.  Now, I am not saying that women are not superficial but I am stressing that society has influenced our ideas and answer to, “What is pretty?”  Every cover girl from Vogue to a MNET TV guide had girls that did not look like a ‘Plain Jane,’ but more like,’ Barbie at the beach.’  So, in keeping with fairness, some of our brothers did not have a proper framework to help them comprehend that, ‘Pretty’ meant more than just a, ‘well-brushed face.’

We toil in labour as we pluck, iron, tweeze, shave, pull, tuck, shape, straighten, laser, tan, moisturise, glue, cut, stitch and all and all, all in the name of, ‘Pretty.’  Ah, to be pretty is the notion and how to be is the question?

So, what if we imagined a world where pretty meant individualism, changing the whole narrative on the concept of beauty.  Yes, we all have heard and seen the plus-sized models, the dark-skinned women gracing the covers of fashion magazines, natural hair versus wigs and so on and thankfully trends are changing the way we view women and beauty.  One may ask, is it enough to convince us or is it just enough for large corporations to tap into markets that are lucrative?  Why do we still see images of photoshopped models on the covers of magazines? Why must there be a plus-size model category? Why should we be told we need a series of products to apply daily to our skin so that we could look like a better version of ourselves?  Is the original that God created not good enough?  Aren’t we women tired of been dictated and told what we should look like?  Society has really played a number on us.  We should be exhausted by having to explain why ‘eyebrows are not done’ or ‘nails not painted,’ maybe as mothers, time plays a factor, or one’s priority is placed on other things, then there are the monetary concerns as well, keeping up with, ‘maintenance,’ can tally up.  Not adhering to these tasks, in no way makes any woman any less of a woman.

Perhaps we can push the agenda on having good skin as opposed to, ‘covering up’ or teaching our little girls that it is okay to have blemishes or acne (whilst the bad skin gets healthy) so that when they do go to school or campus and work, they have the confidence to walk into a room without second-guessing themselves.  More so, that if they are rejected purely based on their looks, they have the confidence to understand that it is not because of who they are but the fault of the awful and fickle system in which they were born into.  However, change is on the horizon and there are women out there that are making significant strides to these very changes.

I ask myself these questions to help alleviate the pressures that society has directly and indirectly placed on us females.  My gripe is not at all aimed at makeup, I love lipstick and eyeliner but I am sensitive to the fact that some of us feel it is a must to cover up daily because we feel we have too.  This is no fault of ours, somehow, we have been conditioned into thinking that we need too.  “Maybe it’s Maybelline, maybe it’s me?” But I would like to think, “It’s because I’m worth it.”

It is said that “Confidence is 99% and 1% lip gloss.”  We should take a few lines out of the all-girl group from the late ’90s, TLC and their major hit, “Unpretty.”   “You can buy your hair if it won’t grow. You can fix your nose if you say so, you can buy all the makeup that M.A.C. can make, but if you can look inside you, find out who am I to be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty.”

If we look to the bible for wisdom, we see in scripture that God’s definition of beauty is the complete opposite of what the world has taught us.

… Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. – Acts 13:22

Never let anyone make you feel unpretty including yourself, never succumb to drastic lengths to make the outer appearances shine whilst there is dullness on the inside.  Feeling confident about who you are is a key to a happier life so when you wear your eyeshadow or your favourite lipstick you do so because YOU are PRETTY.

Hazel Moonsamy

Hazel Moonsamy has 15 years of experience in local Government serving in the Mayor’s office of Ethekwini, stationed with the Deputy Mayor. She has extensive political knowledge and shares a desire to aid the less fortunate. She is passionate about her walk with Christ and does not shy away from revealing her love for Christ. Hazel has been the news anchor on Megazone Radio for two years and currently hosts her own show called the Saturday Rejoice on Radio Hallelujah. She attends New Hope Ministries in Durban. She has taught Sunday School since the age of 12 years, led worship, and was actively involved in youth and Children’s ministry.

The post Pretty Girl Syndrome appeared first on Cup of Faith.

For the month of February we have been covering the different phases of relationships and chatting about nurturing, respecting and embracing your relationship, whether you’re navigating singledom, dating or marriage. Before we wrap up the end of relationship month, I thought I’d share some of the relationship-focused books that we recommend from our partner, Struik Christian Media.

Swipe Right by Levi Lusko

In Swipe Right, Pastor Levi Lusko offers compelling reasons to make wise choices in matters of the heart—relationships, sex, dating, and marriage. He encourages readers to live each day knowing their present choices will immediately become part of their pasts, and that their pasts will inevitably come back to visit them in the future.

With equal parts prevention and cure, the book is not just a list of rules to live by but something to live for: God’s powerful plan for our lives. To get there we must learn how to swipe right—to live up in a left, right world—because what we do with sex and romance is truly an issue of life and death importance.

Why we love it:

Levi’s writing is raw, relatable and very honest. I love how he balances serious topics with light humour. (Read my full review here – by far my favourite book, this month!)

Get your copy here!

Lovestruck by Sharon Jaynes

Have you ever felt that the man you thought was your soulmate has turned into more of a roommate? If so, then Lovestruck will help you see your marriage from a fresh perspective and reignite the passion that was there in the beginning. While the extent of the church’s message has traditionally been, “If you’re not married, don’t do it,” and “If you are married, don’t talk about it, ” it’s time to see what God has to say sexual intimacy.

Why we love it:

Sharon reminds and challenges us to be more intentional, with our relationships from beginning attractions and dating through marriages. She breaks down the Book of Solomon, in the most interesting way, by highlighting imagery and significant points and messaging to explain the scripture and what Solomon and His Bride’s courting and marriage looked like.

Get your copy here!

Hope For Your Marriage by Clayton & Ashlee Hurst

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to have the marriage you dreamed of? Interestingly, this is the question Clayton and Ashlee ask young couples before they get married and married couples in crisis. If they answer yes, then there is hope for the couple. If they are willing to commit to the hard work ahead, they have a very good shot.

Hope for Your Marriage is a book designed for couples who desire to have the best marriage possible. Every marriage has the potential to be incredible when God is at the center.

In Hope for Your Marriage, Clayton and Ashlee share personal stories on overcoming fairy-tale pitfalls; keeping Jesus at the center of your marriage; practicing healthy communication on sex, conflict, and forgiveness; declaring life over your marriage; and leaving a God-honoring legacy.

Why we love it:

This is the perfect read for newlyweds and in fact, any married couple. The book is refreshingly candid and shares stories that you can relate to, with practical advice that speaks straight to the heart.

Get your copy here!

Story Of Marriage by John & Lisa Bevere

Once upon a time… Marriage was forever. It was a covenant that knit one man and one woman together. This weaving made both stronger, nobler, and more vibrant expressions of who they were created to be. They were better together than either had been on their own. The wedding ceremony was but a beginning. It was the gateway to build their happily ever after. Each choice and action was designed to construct the life their union-represented. Husband and wife walked into the great unknown with hearts, hands, and voices intertwined to express the love of their Creator. How did we lose touch with this profound love story? In The Story of Marriage, John and Lisa Bevere invite you to rediscover God’s original plan. Whether you’re married, single, or engaged, your story is a part of His.

Why we love it:

This book reminds us that marriages aren’t perfect and it takes a lot of work. The study-style makes it great for couples to work through together, or on their own to discuss later. I love that both John and Lisa were very frank about the struggles they have endured, and found that openness encouraging.

Get your copy here!

Our Best Life Together by Joel & Victoria Osteen

In Our Best Life Together, Joel and Victoria Osteen want to encourage you in your marriage and remind you that God brought you together to help each other succeed and to become all He created you to be. There’s no better way to experience the fulfilling marriage God intends for you than to set aside a devotional time together each day and set your minds in the right direction for a positive, happy, faith-filled marriage. When you live together in unity, you honor God and open the door for His blessings to flow into every area of your life. If you will do your part, God will do His part, and you can live in love!

Why we love it:

What’s not to love about Joel and Victoria? This devotional is a superb addition to any bedside table and reminds us to put God at the centre of our relationship. You can read our full review here, but trust me, this makes a fantastic gift for upcoming weddings and anniversaries as it’s such a great book for all couples of faith.

Get your copy here!

Don’t forget, we’ll be reviewing and featuring a handful of these books right here on our platform so be sure to keep an eye out for those posts too!

Megan Kelly Botha

I’m a coffee-wielding mood reader and romance book collector who may or may not have a slight addiction to buying books. I read a variety of sub-genres within romance, including rom-coms, dark romance, and fantasy. I love sharing my thoughts on books, whether it’s through book reviews, quotes, or recommendations inspired by my current reads. Through my romance book blog, Literary Inspired, I aim to provide in-depth book reviews, curated reading recommendations, and exclusive author promotions. I’m passionate about supporting indie authors and sharing my latest book discoveries with others. When I’m not reading, you can find me cheering on my favorite football team and F1 drivers, crafting, baking with my kids or playing with my pets.

literaryinspired.com/

The post Relationship Books we LOVE! appeared first on Cup of Faith.

The prevailing culture believes it’s inappropriate for women of marriageable age to remain single for a long time. This ideology is adopted by several communities, which has resulted in the mistreatment of unmarried women. Inequity is their daily ordeal at workplaces and social gatherings. Oftentimes this act is done by their families and friends. The pressure on this category of women is unbearable, to ease the distress, many of them begin to isolate themselves. They continue that way until their mental health and physical appearance suffer defection. On the quest to change the status of singledom, they explore controversial methods intensifying their problems.

A few years back, I attended a camp program organized strictly for single women. While we were at the camp, a single and desperate woman poured out her heart to express her agony of singledom, “What could be wrong with me, she asked, I am growing older every new day and no man has indicated an interest in me. Don’t I look attractive? Last week, my best friend walked down the aisle and here I am rejected and abandoned. I am fed up with life, I can’t believe that my younger sister will be having her second baby soon. My mom isn’t making things any easier for me, she calls me every day with the question; when are you going to introduce your man to the whole family? Singledom is the worst phase of a woman’s life, she laments. I am frustrated, I wish I could stop thinking about it, I am lonely and unhappy, I even doubt if I can endure much longer.”

In a nutshell, can you relate with the story above? Perhaps, you have gone through pain and humiliation worse than hers. The agony of singledom is written boldly on so many women. In contrast, singledom is not meant to be a phase of humiliation for any women. However, it’s discriminatory how the world views singles. The understanding of singledom being a transition process is missing. The phase of singledom is likened to be a promising stage in a woman’s life and must be valued and utilized effectively. Let’s discover why.

Once upon a time, we were all little girls filled with much love and expectation for the future. Unconsciously growth had its way, and we found ourselves as teenagers, a period accompanied by high emotional hormones going aimlessly, we felt we could do everything and life appeared adventurous. Days turned into years, and gradually we transitioned into another phase termed the youthful age, where we begin to see life from a clearer perspective, aspiring to be the best and hoping to encounter our prince charming.

The moment our prince charming tarries we begin to panic, forgotten so soon that we have entered another phase, and it takes a series of processes to transit to the next phase of life. This understanding is lacking among many women, which has propelled them to make wrong decisions hastily resulting in regrets. Singledom is a phase which is not lonely as some people say. On the contrary, it’s a fun-filled period that allows us to build ourselves and prepare effectively before transitioning into the marriage phase.

At the singledom phase, you must realise that you are betrothed to God forever, in righteousness, justice, love and compassion –Hosea 2:19. This phase is the point where you acquire fundamental knowledge and skills to sustain your home when your Mr-Right does finally arrives. It’s destructive to transition to the marriage phase unprepared, as this can tear down your marriage. Why the rush? What makes you think you’re expired? Don’t let the world system pressure you while you’re still transitioning. To enjoy your future marriage and live happily ever after, don’t skip the singledom phase.

Life is governed by times and seasons. Hence, there is absolutely no room for the rush and desperation. The book of Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us: There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. So, be at rest and enjoy the singledom season. It’s worth the wait.

Instead of worrying unnecessarily, become eager in moulding your character, devote yourself in serving God, reaching out to the poor, visiting orphanages, building your career, attending singles trips, camps and seminars and more. Being committed to such activities gives you a reason to live, refreshes your strength, erases the feeling of humiliation, brightens your looks and leaves you feeling fuller. The world needs to feel your hand of love and creativity, this is the period for you to reach out. What are you waiting for?

I came across an article while researching tagged singledom equals freedom. In essence, liberty to do whatever you chose to do with your body to get rid of the shame and humiliation. That’s false and not advisable. You’re God’s precious jewel and temple. In other words, chastity must be your lifestyle while being single. Rather than lowering your self-worth by manipulating men with your beautiful body, devote your body to the Lord. Romans 12:1 tells us; Therefore, I urge you, brother and sisters, given Gods mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God —this is your true and proper worship.

Practice purity, it’s wrong to deal with loneliness by engaging in sexual misconduct, this act will jeopardise your transition process and eventually chase your Mr-Right away. To live pure practice Psalms 119:9; How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word.

I pray for you, strength to overcome and live a chaste life while single will be released upon you, and as you grow through this phase, you shall find yourself in the company of encouraging friends in Jesus name.

Happiness Hassan

I’m Happiness Hassan, the founder of Inspiring Guide—A personal development blog that empowers you to become the best version of yourself!

Also, I’m an SEO content writer and strategist with over 7 years of experience helping brands boost visibility, engagement, and sales.

On the coaching side, I’ve trained countless writers to turn their passion into profitable SEO careers.

When I’m not geeking out over SEO, you’ll find me deep in the world of self-development. As a dedicated student of continuous growth, I write about my growth journey, sharing insights to help others unlock their potential. So, if you’re looking for a little push to become your best self, stick around—I’ve got you covered!

The post Transition phase appeared first on Cup of Faith.

A utilized singledom phase gives rise to a godly woman fit for the master’s use, who will in turn build a godly home. Therefore, singledom is a building phase. This stage allows you to plough the soil of your heart, plant beneficial seeds, water your seeds, uproot undesirable weeds that impede its growth and supply nutrients to enhance their development. Gradually, these seeds begin to grow, revealing your unending efforts to produce beneficial fruits. The blossoming of your fruits births a godly character in you. That’s a miracle!

To ensure your seeds flourish, your commitment and prayers are vital at this phase. However, these valuable seeds consist of love, patience, kindness, joy, generosity, peace, meekness, self-discipline, persistent, gentleness, faith, optimistic attitude, long-suffering, tolerance, ability to encourage others, goodness and temperance.

Subsequently, during the growth process of your seeds, other detrimental seeds known as weeds begin to surface to choke your seeds and prevent them from maturing. For no reason should you hesitate the removal of such weeds as anger, promiscuity, unforgiveness, disobedience, dishonesty, strife, jealousy, envy, self-centred, pride, arrogance, slander, misunderstanding, lukewarmness and gossip?

These weeds are assigned to distract and discourage you from building yourself. Don’t be afraid when you come across them rather abide in Jesus Christ who is the true vine. John 15:5 gave a perfect illustration of our insufficiency without God’s assistance, “I am the vine(Jesus Christ); you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing.” Abiding in Jesus Christ guarantees the growth of your seeds into incredible fruits that would stand the test of time. Take away doubt and approach the mercy throne of God with humility seeking His help, be intentional about it.

Furthermore, it’s ideal every woman possesses the virtue of godly character before walking down the aisle, the Bible calls it the unfading beauty. This virtue comes foremost before your outward beauty, which tends to fade away with time. My studies show that men are drawn to women of godly character and observation of their physical beauty comes second not vice versa.

Also, that’s not an excuse for you to quit beautifying your outward appearance and move about shabbily. Don’t you know your outward adornments epitomizes your godly character? The book of 1 Peter 3:3-4 expounded this, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in Gods sight.”

The Singledom phase is also considered as the best time to devote ourselves, time, money and talents to God. At this stage, it’s important that we’re committed to the things of God and derives joy from enhancing the growth of His kingdom. You don’t have to search before getting involved in God’s work.

Hence, you can start from your local church, become an active member of one unit. For instance, the evangelism unit, which grants you the license to win souls for Christ and populate the kingdom of God. Or, the outreach unit, as a member of this unit you stand a chance of ministering to the poor, this is a lovely opportunity to extend your hands of love and care to those who need them the most. Seize the moment! Become part of those beautifying the house of God, that’s also a great unit to serve God with. If you’re unsure of what unit to join, inquire from your pastor or church head the next time you go for fellowship.

However, your intimate relationship with God must come first. Don’t neglect the place of sweet fellowship with God for anything neither substitute it with your activities for Him. The Bible tells us something interesting about our devotion to God while single; 1 Corinthians 7:34, “and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world —how she can please her husband.” Hence, your daily yearning as a single woman is to please your creator and do his will.

The building phase of singledom makes the transition process fun-filled and interesting. Be determined not to listen to the voice of loneliness and boredom. Instead, get committed to planting valuable seeds and uprooting harmful seeds from the soil of your heart. I pray for you, the grace to be committed to building a godly character is released upon you. I speak restoration to your intimate relationship with God in Jesus name.

Happiness Hassan

I’m Happiness Hassan, the founder of Inspiring Guide—A personal development blog that empowers you to become the best version of yourself!

Also, I’m an SEO content writer and strategist with over 7 years of experience helping brands boost visibility, engagement, and sales.

On the coaching side, I’ve trained countless writers to turn their passion into profitable SEO careers.

When I’m not geeking out over SEO, you’ll find me deep in the world of self-development. As a dedicated student of continuous growth, I write about my growth journey, sharing insights to help others unlock their potential. So, if you’re looking for a little push to become your best self, stick around—I’ve got you covered!

The post Building Phase appeared first on Cup of Faith.

When I was a teenager and living with my grandparents, who are Christian missionaries and pastors, I remember being bored and having my gran point out her book shelf that was filled with theology, bible studies, and self-help books. My response was somewhat dramatic when I thought gaah, all those books are so boring and outdated. Thinking back to that time, I get it – I didn’t feel seen or heard in those books. I didn’t see our own lives represented; instead, those books detailed all these rules and guidelines to become a “good Christian,” and besides it being unattainable, those books rarely outlined the messiness of Christianity or the challenges that we face as modern Christians.

That’s where Levi Lusko gets it right.

A unique and compelling understanding of the power and the pleasure attached to God’s plans for relationships.

For better or for worse, interactions with screens are now irreversibly entangled into the fabric of our lives. We swipe right to answer calls, unlock our iPhones, respond to snaps, browse through photos, and respond to emails. With our fingertips dancing across devices, we navigate our way through life. It is now estimated that the average American pull their phone out to check it 150 times each day. That’s once every six minutes. 

For the now more than 100 Million Americans on dating apps like Tinder, swiping right is increasingly the first step towards initiating no-strings-attached sexual encounters. Sex is being stripped of any emotional or spiritual significance by successive generations and it simply viewed as a physical source of pleasure and enjoyment. All of this is a reality, the real question is at what cost?

In Swipe Right, Pastor Levi Lusko offers compelling reasons to make wise choices in matters of the heart—relationships, sex, dating, and marriage. He encourages readers to live each day knowing their present choices will immediately become part of their pasts, and that their pasts will inevitably come back to visit them in the future.

With equal parts prevention and cure, the book is not just a list of rules to live by but something to live for: God’s powerful plan for our lives. To get there we must learn how to swipe right—to live up in a left, right world—because what we do with sex and romance is truly an issue of life and death importance. 

For twelve years Levi, his wife Jennie, and their team, have put on an evangelistic purity conference called the O2 Experience. Traveling across the United States, he has appeared in three to five cities each year, bringing a fresh perspective on sex and romance, challenging thousands of teens and unmarried young adults to rise up in strength and honor. Swipe Right will broaden the discussions to include married people, those dating, and those who have racked up consequences but need to know it’s never too late to do the right thing and experience God’s best.

Levis is a Christian millennial and just like me, he is trying to figure out how to navigate this new world, because without realizing it, we are pioneers of our time. I see myself in his writing – I can relate to his thoughts, and the stories that he shares. In fact, I had a giggle that in one of his stories, he describes having a pretty bad accident which results in breaking his leg, and while he doesn’t recall much from his time in hospital, he remembered being mad because they had to cut him out of his favourite pair of jeans. It was amusing because my own husband was knocked over by a car, as a teenager, and had the exact same experience where he was absolutely livid that they cut through his favourite pair of jeans. For many years after that, he clung to those blood-stained jeans until one day, they just disappeared 😉.

I first discovered Lusko’s writing when I saw Struik Christian Media advertising his latest book called Take Back Your Life, which I immediately ordered because the description felt like it had been written for me. There was no messing around – his 40-day interactive book helped me dig deep and find what was holding me back, and encouraged me to stand in my light and follow my God-given purpose. As soon as I claimed that, life started changing and I no longer felt weighed down by my anxiety and worries.

Swipe Right was equally groundbreaking and speaks to our generation; the generation of smartphones, constant swiping, liking, and engaging. Earlier this week, I watched a documentary about OnlyFans which explores the stories of several creatives on the platform and what they’re willing to do for money, and while I don’t feel like I necessarily live with my head in the sand, my mind was utterly blown. I kept wondering whether there is any dignity left? If we’re so willing to engage in casual sex just for views, have we grown completely numb to understanding and recognizing the power in having sex?

SEX. There, I said it.

I could bet my bottom dollar that I would never have found a book on my gran’s bookshelf that even hinted at the act of sex. I mean, still to this day – 2 children later – I can’t imagine saying those 3 little letters in front of them and why? I was raised by a mom who was all too comfortable to have those awkward conversations but my grandparents are “old-school” where it’s wrong and un-Christian-like to speak of such private matters, but then it got me thinking – if we’re not talking about it, are we to blame for our youth not seeing or recognizing the importance of protecting that part of ourselves?

I tend to be the person who says no to everything; I was the good girl at school, the head girl, an A+ student, and despite having a rough upbringing, I lived my life without drugs, smoking, alcohol, and sex. I would see those things around me, but I stayed clear because I was scared of the consequences. I was SO aware of them – I knew I had a long-term plan, I knew I wanted to get married, have children, and have a badass career, and after seeing the impact that revenge porn had on one of my peers in high school, I was all too aware that you never know what the future holds and how something so private, shared between two people can turn and be used against you if you aren’t careful about who you share that with. I also remember that when I realized that my teenage boyfriend had lost his virginity at 13-years old, I was shocked, heartbroken and pretty much ready to cut all ties. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Here we were, 15 or 16-years old, and he had already shared the most intimate parts of himself with someone else when I was very much not ready for that AT ALL.

But the problem was – NO ONE WAS TALKING ABOUT! No one was there guiding teenagers and young adults on this part of life because it made everyone else uncomfortable. And that’s why Swipe Right is crucial for our current culture and generation. It’s not that God doesn’t want you to enjoy yourself – this might come as a shock, but He wants you to have AMAZING sex! That’s right – you don’t have to feel bad about yourself because you enjoy sex! But sex is intimate, and shouldn’t be stripped of any emotional or spiritual significance.

Besides the most incredible book cover (seriously, I am in love with the artwork), what this book holds is thought-provoking conversations that need to be heard and shared. It’s an amazing read and definitely, one that I feel will continue to open this discussion further.

You can purchase your copy of Swipe Right from leading book stores including CUM Books. 

Megan Kelly Botha

I’m a coffee-wielding mood reader and romance book collector who may or may not have a slight addiction to buying books. I read a variety of sub-genres within romance, including rom-coms, dark romance, and fantasy. I love sharing my thoughts on books, whether it’s through book reviews, quotes, or recommendations inspired by my current reads. Through my romance book blog, Literary Inspired, I aim to provide in-depth book reviews, curated reading recommendations, and exclusive author promotions. I’m passionate about supporting indie authors and sharing my latest book discoveries with others. When I’m not reading, you can find me cheering on my favorite football team and F1 drivers, crafting, baking with my kids or playing with my pets.

literaryinspired.com/

The post Swipe Right: Life, Death, Sex, and Romance appeared first on Cup of Faith.

Waiting is a phase of singledom, after all, other stages have been experienced. Understanding the transition, building and inner satisfaction phase of singledom makes the waiting stage fascinating. All phases are important and necessary. Hence, skipping one phase equals termination of the next stage.

The waiting period renews your strength, gets you prepared before your groom arrives. And beyond waiting for your groom, wait upon the Lord, who has the power to grant the desires of your heart.

In this phase, we shall be evaluating the parable of the ten virgins (Matthew 25:1-12) of course, there are plenty of lessons to be learned from this parable. In a nutshell, the beautiful virgins, who were single embarked on a trip with their lamps to meet their groom. They were overwhelmed with joy as they journeyed. But there was a marked difference between them, five were considered wise while the other five were considered foolish. Do you know why? The wise virgins took extra oil with them, because they were unsure of the time of their groom’s arrival, while the foolish ones assumed the oil in their lamp would sustain them until their groom arrives.

Are you wise? How prepared are you to meet your groom? First, you must acquire the necessary knowledge. Therefore, don’t hurry into the waiting stage unprepared like the foolish virgins.

In other words, you need an understanding of what the phase of singledom entails. And before meeting your groom, your body must be dedicated to God in purity first. Next, you need to excel in building a godly character, taking proper care of your health, and decorating your outward appearance.

In essence, be confident about your inner and outward beauty before embarking on the waiting trip. Likewise, your relationship with your creator must be evergreen. I assure you that your groom will appreciate you the most for your positive self-image. Hence, don’t omit any of the above mentioned from your preparation kits. These represent the oil that would keep your lamp burning while your groom tarries.

You might be asking yourself why you need all these attributes. Well, you are about to find out. The arrival of their groom seemed to take forever, although they didn’t give up because he tarried, instead, they slept and when they least expected, the virgins heard a loud cry announcing their groom’s arrival. Immediately, they started rearranging themselves, adding extra oil to their lamps to enhance their brightness.

Suddenly, the five foolish virgins discovered their lamps were out and needed more oil to light it up again. What a tragedy! How they wished they had known beforehand to come along with extra oil, but it was too late for them. So, they asked for extra oil from the wise virgins, but their request was not granted. Rather they were advised to go into the street and buy for themselves. However, while they left to buy more oil, the wise virgins went inside with their groom for the marriage and the door was shut behind them.

Furthermore, the five foolish virgins returned with their purchased oil, to their amazement they were already late and were not allowed to enter the marriage hall. No amount of consolation would’ve been enough to comfort these five foolish virgins. What a waste of time and effort, waiting for their groom without being prepared to meet him. Most times, impatience has made many women miss their desired groom. I encourage you to endure the process of singledom before transmitting to the next stage, it’s worth your time!

Similarly, single women, your groom is on his way, don’t lose your enthusiasm while waiting, instead, endure patiently just as the 10 virgins waited even while their groom tarried. Nevertheless, ensure you are prepared, so you don’t get to miss him when he arrives by making sure that your lamps are filled with the right oil. Don’t relent in building yourself.

The waiting phase is also the asking phase of singledom. A period where you go down on your knees in prayers to your heavenly father. Tell him how prepared you are, pour your heart out, don’t be overwhelmed with the fear of rejection, boldly request the type of groom you desire, and ensure you pray for your groom before he arrives. I assure you that He would grant your request because He sees that you’re now ready to meet your groom as a virtuous and wise woman.

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalms 37:4 

Happiness Hassan

I’m Happiness Hassan, the founder of Inspiring Guide—A personal development blog that empowers you to become the best version of yourself!

Also, I’m an SEO content writer and strategist with over 7 years of experience helping brands boost visibility, engagement, and sales.

On the coaching side, I’ve trained countless writers to turn their passion into profitable SEO careers.

When I’m not geeking out over SEO, you’ll find me deep in the world of self-development. As a dedicated student of continuous growth, I write about my growth journey, sharing insights to help others unlock their potential. So, if you’re looking for a little push to become your best self, stick around—I’ve got you covered!

The post The Waiting Phase appeared first on Cup of Faith.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. Are you the type that grumbles when things are inadequate for you? Or, are you battling with discontentment about your personality? You must know that discontentment gives rise to destructive behaviors when not dealt with. Therefore, it’s vital to attain inner satisfaction while single. – 1 Timothy 6:6

Nowadays, so many single women are living with a deep void in their hearts. Craving for what can fill it up. They go about their day-to-day life with low self-esteem, resulting in people-pleasing attitudes. At that point they suffer from mental and emotional traumas, as the thought of feeling like they are not good enough overwhelms their hearts. These sets of women explore external sources in an attempt to fill the void that only God can fill. Hiding under the disguise of career success, academic certificates, awards, wealth, houses, flashy cars, beautiful dress and shoes, jewelry, and more. But in the end, the void is yet to be filled.

Subsequently, the inferiority complex takes over their lives, giving others the free will to trample upon their rights. The aftermath of this is expressed in their poor mental health, emotional feelings, shabby physical appearance, and diminished spiritual growth.

Discontentment about themselves propels them to seek the approval of men rather than God’s approval. Their greatest fear is a state of abandonment and rejection. Singles living with discontentment thinks by changing their personality into that of someone else will attract their Mr-Right, but that’s untrue. Living a double lifestyle will bring you sadness, take away your peace of mind and drive away your Mr-Right. Pretending to be someone else to sustain a relationship is the fastest route to tarnish your image as God’s jewel and eventually, destroy that relationship.

Singledom is that phase where you grow to the point of inner satisfaction, a point where you become complete and content in Christ Jesus. Him alone can occupy that void in your heart and not a man, or a career, or any other external things. Sustaining an intimate relationship with God stops you from seeking the approval of men about your self-worth, instead, what God thinks about you becomes your primary focus.

The moment the void in you is filled with God’s love, it boosts your self-esteem, gives you a positive view of yourself, stimulates both your inner and outer beauty, which attracts your Mr-Right. However, without inner satisfaction you become a burden to your future husband, making things difficult for him, as a result of your discontentment with whatever he provides. This attitude can crack your home apart. No man appreciates a dissatisfied woman in his life, because her presence wrecks his labor in providing the necessities for his family.

A perfect illustration of a woman that exhibits inner satisfaction is the proverb, 31 women. The Bible said this woman is virtuous, her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, you know why? He believes that she is satisfied with whatever he can provide without grumbling. Her husband lacks nothing of value, above all, she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life (Proverb 31: 10-12). Indeed, her character is worth emulating.

Furthermore, attaining inner satisfaction is obtainable. You don’t need to harbor the fear of rejection when you express your true identity. To develop inner satisfaction, become dedicated to planting seeds of self-discipline, gentleness, love, peace, generosity, patience, and persistence in the soil of your heart. Likewise, uprooting weeds of self-centeredness, promiscuity, negative self-comparison, anger, impatience, strife, envy, jealousy, dishonesty, and hate.

Also, speak positive affirmative words daily to yourself. Keep on reminding yourself of your true identity in Christ; “I am wonderfully and fearfully made by God, I’m His workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works, I’m the apple of His eyes, in Him I’m complete, what matters most is God’s approval about me not that of humans, I’m his precious pearl, all my needs are supplied through Christ Jesus, I’m a daughter of a king, and I am a work in progress in God’s hand, I believe He would perfect all that concerns me.”

Subsequently, unrealistic expectations are trimmed off during the phase of inner satisfaction. Moderate the list of the features your Mr-Right must possess before you accept him. I’m not against you having such a list, all I’m saying is that you come to understand that no man is perfect and there is always room for improvement. Hence, Don’t turn down every man who approaches you, because they are below your standard.

However, your primary requirement should stem from the basis of his faith, is he God-fearing? Do you both share the same faith? Furthermore, pray about it. Hear what apostle Paul says about mingling with other persons from a different faith;

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14

And although looks are good, looks are not enough to sustain a marriage. I pray that you shall encounter the joy of the singledom in Jesus’ name.

Happiness Hassan

I’m Happiness Hassan, the founder of Inspiring Guide—A personal development blog that empowers you to become the best version of yourself!

Also, I’m an SEO content writer and strategist with over 7 years of experience helping brands boost visibility, engagement, and sales.

On the coaching side, I’ve trained countless writers to turn their passion into profitable SEO careers.

When I’m not geeking out over SEO, you’ll find me deep in the world of self-development. As a dedicated student of continuous growth, I write about my growth journey, sharing insights to help others unlock their potential. So, if you’re looking for a little push to become your best self, stick around—I’ve got you covered!

The post Finding Satisfaction in Singledom appeared first on Cup of Faith.

Out of the many gifts in our lives that God has given us to steward, sexuality has always been one of the most difficult. The danger, of course, lies in believing that each of us is alone in figuring out answers to complex questions to relationships, singleness, sexual desire, digital relationships and more. Bronwyn Lea, author of ‘Beyond Awkward Side Hugs: Living as Christian Brothers and sisters in a sex-crazed world’ dives into the nuances of how inevitable male-female church membership and ministry contexts can be guided with biblical wisdom.

From popular teacher and writer Bronwyn Lea, a biblical invitation to healthy male-female relationships by creating a vision beyond stilted and unhelpful don’t-touch/don’t-talk rules.

When it comes to relationships between men and women in the church, we’ve got more questions than answers. How can men and women be in community when not married? Or if married, with people not our spouses? Can men and women be “just friends”? How can we date wisely and well? What does it mean to be a woman if you’re not a wife? Or a man if you’re not a husband? How can we be in healthy, close relationships if we’re single?

In Beyond Awkward Side Hugs, Bronwyn Lea lays out a biblical vision for relationships between men and women in the church. Jesus’ pattern for church living was one of family, of brothers and sisters living in intimate, healthy community with each other. Doing so calls for character and wisdom, for charting a path toward relationships that acknowledge gender but aren’t sexualized, that go beyond the awkwardness of simplistic don’t-touch/don’t-talk rules.

Rooted in Scripture and attested by personal and pastoral stories, Beyond Awkward Side Hugs is an invitation to relationship theology that moves beyond unhealthy, eroticized, fear-based patterns and toward gendered, generous relationships between men and women of character, loving one another as Jesus did.

Lea has worked a significant portion of her adult life – 20 years – for church and has a number of experiences and conversations she uses to reflect upon in the book. In fact, she states that the issue of sexuality in relationships is ‘an unavoidably central part of how we live out the Gospel.’ She later links this to the important, broader concept of stewardship: sexuality, she explains, should be handled as a gift. Christians should be careful – as with all gifts – to avoid misuse and abuse.

Does careful stewardship then, call for a myriad of complex rules dictating who, what, when, where and how? For example, there has probably never been a Christian dating discussion in history that has not included the ‘how far can we go physically?’ question. Human nature tends to look for rules to guide choices but Lea points out that rules alone will never be enough to keep us from temptation. The answer to some questions about boundaries is much better answered with ‘it depends.’ With nuanced maturity, Lea explains that discernment, prudence and wisdom are far more important than simple rules. She quotes more than once in the book from Colossians 2:20-23: “Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.”

‘Beyond Awkward Side Hugs’ is not a book for someone looking for hard and fast extra-biblical rules about dating. Rather, read this book if you are looking to deepen a grace-orientated discussion on gender relationships in a church where we are the family of Christ.

Get your copy of Beyond Awkward Side Hugs from CUM Books, here. 

About the Author: Bronwyn Lea has been active for twenty years in vocational ministry to serve, encourage, teach, and mobilize Christians of all ages. A graduate of law school and seminary, she ministers in her local church and also heads up Propel Sophia, the Christian living wisdom resource for Propel Women. Bronwyn is mom to three school-aged kids, who keep her somewhere between hilarious laughter and desperate prayer on any given day. She and her fellow South African husband live in Northern California, where they count the men and women in their church as both friends and family. Learn more at www.bronlea.com

Kate Walsh

Kate is the current owner and editor of Cup of Faith. She is a blogger who loves Jesus, loves to read, and currently lives in Johannesburg with her husband.

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