25 Oct How to just be…

by Lisa-Mare Brown

When my son was about 2 and half years old, our family decided that it was time for me to quit my job, and for my son and I to stay at home. It was a big decision, due to our lifestyle choices: we were living in Malta and traveling to Europe frequently. We also made another major lifestyle adjustment in moving back home to South Africa.

I honestly had no idea how big the adjustment would be… I was giving up my independence, and so many people asked me, “But why?” It made me think how messed up capitalism really is. Both parents must work and pay a proportion of their income to someone else to look after their child who will in turn need to find someone else to look after his (or her) own child.

In the end, no one gets to raise their own children. Some moms would literally tell me that they have more patience when they work, or how they would rather work as they are not up for it.

I must admit, I used to feel the same. I would look forward to Mondays and going on holiday was hard work. But I was listening to a podcast by “M is for Mama” and I can’t even remember what exactly she said but man oh man did the Holy Spirit grab my heart! I felt convinced that it was time for my son to come home.

It was really strange as I was struggling with guilt but convinced myself it’s better for my family this way. “It’s only guilt!” I told myself. Meanwhile, God was preparing my heart for a new season. I couldn’t deny it anymore and I remember saying to God: “OK God, but this needs to happen in South Africa.” At the same time, my husband had in his heart to move to South Africa too.

Now it is special how God prepared the way but I had no idea how hard the adjustment would be, and also how much I would learn. I am beginning to think that this journey was just as much for me as it was for my son.

So let’s speak about the hard… It is hard to give every minute of every day to your offspring, although it might sound like a natural thing to do. It is in fact not natural to us anymore. Society has taught us to hustle, to always scrape for more, to live for entertainment and to always be searching for the next big thing.

Spending time with a toddler demands you to slow down, to live in the second, to literally smell the roses, to invent ways of entertaining yourself, to seek adventure and fun in everyday things. No amount of toys, crafts, educational materials, “tik-tok” videos can teach you how to be in the moment with your child. Only the Holy Spirit can.

It is in the moments when I want to hustle for the next thing even if it is just to start cleaning or cooking when God shows me: this is it. This is what it is all about. This moment. In the dirt, on the ground, making growling sounds and pretending you can speak dinosaur. It forces you to slow down and just be. We are not able to just be any more.

Think about it, is it possible for you to just sit for five minutes without reverting to browsing on your phone?

It is really hard for us to just be and I believe it’s a discipline we need to practice to experience more of Jesus. That is why He lets the children come to him. That is why he requires a child like faith and that the Kingdom belongs to them. It is because what a child is: the opposite of our society. A child can just be.

Today’s society wants us to chase educational milestones in our children since infancy. But it’s not just what our children can learn from us. We can learn from them. That is an unseen treasure not everyone can acknowledge and see. It’s a hidden treasure and God reveals it to those who seek it.

So sit down… Get on the ground with them. And let them teach you how to just be.

_________

Hi, I’m Lisa. I’m a stay-at-home mom to a lively toddler boy. Following God is an exciting adventure through the highs and the lows. As long as we seek him, there’s a treasure in every season, so let’s learn how to seek him together. See Lisa’s blog here.

Guest Author

From time to time, Cup of Faith receives guest posts from people who would prefer to contribute to the blog once-off. These authors may choose to stay anonymous or may have their name featured in the post itself.