Kate Walsh

Kate is the current owner and editor of Cup of Faith. She is a blogger who loves Jesus, loves to read, and currently lives in Johannesburg with her husband.

The post Interview with Author Sister K: “Blessed with Laughter: Journey to Seeing Her Eyes” appeared first on Cup of Faith.

There’s a kind of inner split that few Christians talk about openly, but many of us feel at some point in our walk with God. I’ve come to call it the great schism. It’s that deep, often painful disconnect between what we know is true about God – because the Bible tells us so – and what our current reality is screaming back at us.

You know the tension. You’ve probably felt it too.

We say with conviction that God is good. We proclaim that He is our provider. Our healer. Faithful. Present. Yet there are seasons in life when those truths feel painfully hollow. Not because they aren’t true, but because they don’t seem to be true for us – right now.

I lived in that space for quite a while.

When the Mind Knows but the Heart Breaks

A few years ago, I was walking through the quiet, aching valley of infertility. Month after month of hope followed by heartbreak. I prayed. I fasted. I believed. I declared. I did all the “right” things. But the silence from heaven grew louder, more deafening, more disorienting. My theology said God is good. My heart whispered, “But is He good to me?”

That’s the kind of question that feels scandalous to admit out loud in Christian circles. But it’s the one that kept me up at night. I knew the verses. I could quote James 1:17 in my sleep: “Every good and perfect gift is from above.” I believed in the goodness of God like I believed in gravity. But in the middle of my pain, those truths started to feel distant, even cruel. What kind of good God withholds something so good?

That’s when I realised I was in a spiritual tug-of-war between what I believed and what I experienced.

The Tension is Biblical

If you’re there right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not faithless. In fact, you’re standing in a long tradition of believers who have wrestled with the same kind of dissonance.

Think of Job. A man who lived blamelessly, who honoured God in every way, yet lost everything – his children, his wealth, even his health. His friends were convinced his suffering was because of hidden sin. But Job knew differently. He just didn’t understand why a good God would allow so much pain. At one point, Job said, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15 ESV). That’s faith in the face of profound confusion.

Or take David. In the Psalms, he pours out his frustration, saying things like “Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1 ESV). These aren’t neat, Sunday-school prayers. They’re raw cries from a man wrestling with the seeming gap between God’s character and God’s actions.

Even Jesus, in His humanity, cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46 ESV). If the Son of God could feel abandoned, could feel the tension between truth and experience, then surely our doubts don’t disqualify us.

Faith Is Not Denial

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that faith means always having the right answers or always feeling hopeful. But biblical faith isn’t about denial; it’s about holding onto God even when everything in us wants to let go.

It’s choosing to say, “God, I don’t understand what You’re doing. I don’t like how this feels. But I still believe You are who You say You are.”

That’s not weak faith. That’s deep faith.

It’s faith that has been tested in the fire of disappointment and has chosen, again and again, to trust, even with a limp, even with tears, even with clenched fists.

So How Do We Reconcile the Gap?

This is the question I wrestled with the most. How do we reconcile what we know about God with what we experience when the two seem worlds apart?

I don’t claim to have all the answers, but here’s what I’ve learned – and what I’m still learning:

1. Acknowledge the Gap Honestly

Pretending everything’s fine doesn’t help. God isn’t threatened by our honesty. In fact, He invites it. The Psalms are full of brutal transparency, and yet God called David “a man after My own heart” (Acts 13:22). Lament is a biblical language. It makes space for grief and faith to coexist.

2. Anchor Yourself in the Bigger Story

When we focus only on our present pain, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. But Scripture reminds us that we’re part of an eternal story – a story where suffering isn’t meaningless and where God *will* make all things new.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Notice it doesn’t say all things are good. Infertility is not good. Suffering is not good. But somehow, mysteriously, God works through it all to bring about a greater good we may not fully see on this side of eternity.

3. Let Your Questions Lead You Closer

For a while, I feared that questioning God would create distance. But I found that my most honest questions became a bridge to deeper intimacy with Him. When I stopped pretending and started praying prayers like, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24), I found a God who didn’t rebuke me but instead met me with tenderness.

He doesn’t always give us explanations. But He always gives us Himself.

4. Remember That Jesus Entered Our Pain

One of the most comforting truths for me has been this: Jesus knows. He’s not a distant deity watching us suffer from afar. He entered into our broken world. He wept. He grieved. He felt abandoned. He suffered.

Hebrews 4:15 says we have a High Priest who can “sympathize with our weaknesses.” Jesus is not only our Saviour – He is our companion in suffering.

5. Choose to Worship Anyway

This one was the hardest for me. Worship felt hypocritical when I was full of doubt. I remember walking out of a service once during worship because I simply couldn’t do it. But slowly, I learned that worship isn’t just a response to good news – it’s a declaration of trust. It’s saying, “God, even in the dark, I choose to believe You’re still worthy.”

There’s a kind of worship that only comes from the valley. A song that only rises from broken places. And I believe that kind of worship is precious to God.

Walking With a Limp

I didn’t get the answer I prayed for in the way I expected. My story didn’t unfold the way I hoped. But I can say now, years later, that something beautiful happened in the brokenness.

My faith grew deeper. Not neater but deeper.

I still believe God is good. But now, that belief isn’t rooted in what He gives or doesn’t give. It’s rooted in *who He is*. And that’s a shift that suffering often brings.

The great schism between what we know and what we experience may never close entirely this side of heaven. It hasn’t for me. But God is not asking us to resolve the tension. He’s inviting us to trust Him within it.

Even when the prayers go unanswered. Even when the healing doesn’t come. Even when the silence lingers.
God is still good. And somehow, in ways we can’t always see, He is working all things together – not just to fix our story, but to redeem it.

Friend, you don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to tie a bow on your pain or resolve all your doubts to stay in God’s presence.

He welcomes you as you are. Confused. Tired. Hopeful. Hurting. Faithful. Doubting.

And He walks with you in the in-between.

The great schism doesn’t mean your faith is broken. It means your faith is being forged.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story. Have you ever walked through a season where God’s goodness felt out of reach? How did you navigate the tension between what you know and what you experienced?

Let’s create a space where honesty and faith can coexist.

Because they can.

Marthe Badibanga

A volunteer blogger whose passion is to see the people of God become all that the LORD intended them to be in their personal relationships with Him that overflow into their daily lives.

The post The Great Schism: When What We Believe About God Doesn’t Match What We Experience appeared first on Cup of Faith.

Red shoes and swords

My oldest son celebrated his birthday not long ago. I’ve spent a few days feeling nostalgic as I remembered him growing up. He was a busy boy! It seems he was born to get things done and take the lead. He crawled early, walked early, ran fast, and was passionate about doing things “by myself.”

I remember once when he was just a toddler, he concentrated heavily on tying his shoes. After nearly an hour of trying, he cried when he couldn’t finish it, and declared that he would no longer wear those shoes. Not an hour passed after this declaration that he was back at it, trying to tie those red tennis shoes. It wasn’t long before he ran off with those shoes tied as best as his little hands could manage, telling his daddy, “I did it by myself!”

Short-lived victories

His victory was short-lived, however, as the laces came untied rather quickly. He tripped and skinned his knee. Tears quickly ensued, followed by swiftly collecting my independent one in my arms and kissing the tears away. When the tears dried, we tried to tie those shoes together, and the day came when they no longer came loose. A tough lesson for my little one! Yet, he learned to let Mama teach him how to tie shoes that day. Time went by, and he grew, but he learned to come and get help when he couldn’t figure something out.

Past victories and tying shoes

In the same way my son had to learn from his shoe-tying exercise, I’m learning to rely on past lessons and victories to help me move forward and tie my shoes.

So the priest said, “The sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom you killed in the Valley of Elah, there it is, wrapped in a cloth behind the ephod. If you will take that, take it. For there is no other except that one here.” And David said, “There is none like it; give it to me.” – 1 Samuel 21:9 NKJV

If you remember the account of David and Goliath, David killed Goliath (the champion of the Philistines, Israel’s dreaded enemy) with Goliath’s own sword. What a victory that was! However, it seems after that victory, Goliath’s sword – the symbol of that victory – got put away, forgotten until the day David needed it.

Swords of the past work in the present

Sometimes, we go through things in life when the victories of the past return to us at the right moment to bless us, just like the sword of Goliath came back to David. Realizations and answers come, and victory is assured because we remember God brought victory before and will bring it again.

I encourage you to reach back for those swords, those victories. Remember what God has done in the past. This will encourage your faith to believe again. Declare like David of the sword you used in times past, “There’s none like it; give it to me.”

Lea Peters

Lea Peters has been a pastor’s wife and missionary since 1987. She has served alongside her husband, Jamie, planting churches and establishing faith-based community outreaches in Africa. She has four children and two grandchildren.

aculturalshift.com

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by Lisa-Mare Brown

When my son was about 2 and half years old, our family decided that it was time for me to quit my job, and for my son and I to stay at home. It was a big decision, due to our lifestyle choices: we were living in Malta and traveling to Europe frequently. We also made another major lifestyle adjustment in moving back home to South Africa.

I honestly had no idea how big the adjustment would be… I was giving up my independence, and so many people asked me, “But why?” It made me think how messed up capitalism really is. Both parents must work and pay a proportion of their income to someone else to look after their child who will in turn need to find someone else to look after his (or her) own child.

In the end, no one gets to raise their own children. Some moms would literally tell me that they have more patience when they work, or how they would rather work as they are not up for it.

I must admit, I used to feel the same. I would look forward to Mondays and going on holiday was hard work. But I was listening to a podcast by “M is for Mama” and I can’t even remember what exactly she said but man oh man did the Holy Spirit grab my heart! I felt convinced that it was time for my son to come home.

It was really strange as I was struggling with guilt but convinced myself it’s better for my family this way. “It’s only guilt!” I told myself. Meanwhile, God was preparing my heart for a new season. I couldn’t deny it anymore and I remember saying to God: “OK God, but this needs to happen in South Africa.” At the same time, my husband had in his heart to move to South Africa too.

Now it is special how God prepared the way but I had no idea how hard the adjustment would be, and also how much I would learn. I am beginning to think that this journey was just as much for me as it was for my son.

So let’s speak about the hard… It is hard to give every minute of every day to your offspring, although it might sound like a natural thing to do. It is in fact not natural to us anymore. Society has taught us to hustle, to always scrape for more, to live for entertainment and to always be searching for the next big thing.

Spending time with a toddler demands you to slow down, to live in the second, to literally smell the roses, to invent ways of entertaining yourself, to seek adventure and fun in everyday things. No amount of toys, crafts, educational materials, “tik-tok” videos can teach you how to be in the moment with your child. Only the Holy Spirit can.

It is in the moments when I want to hustle for the next thing even if it is just to start cleaning or cooking when God shows me: this is it. This is what it is all about. This moment. In the dirt, on the ground, making growling sounds and pretending you can speak dinosaur. It forces you to slow down and just be. We are not able to just be any more.

Think about it, is it possible for you to just sit for five minutes without reverting to browsing on your phone?

It is really hard for us to just be and I believe it’s a discipline we need to practice to experience more of Jesus. That is why He lets the children come to him. That is why he requires a child like faith and that the Kingdom belongs to them. It is because what a child is: the opposite of our society. A child can just be.

Today’s society wants us to chase educational milestones in our children since infancy. But it’s not just what our children can learn from us. We can learn from them. That is an unseen treasure not everyone can acknowledge and see. It’s a hidden treasure and God reveals it to those who seek it.

So sit down… Get on the ground with them. And let them teach you how to just be.

_________

Hi, I’m Lisa. I’m a stay-at-home mom to a lively toddler boy. Following God is an exciting adventure through the highs and the lows. As long as we seek him, there’s a treasure in every season, so let’s learn how to seek him together. See Lisa’s blog here.

Guest Author

From time to time, Cup of Faith receives guest posts from people who would prefer to contribute to the blog once-off. These authors may choose to stay anonymous or may have their name featured in the post itself.

The post How to just be… appeared first on Cup of Faith.

One of my favourite places to be is the bi-annual Tierlandtynkies market festival in Pretoria. Every inch of space is filled with delightful treasures for my magpie eyes, handmade or curated by fun, smart and engaging entrepreneurs. Most of them are female, including the events’ brain-moms: Ronel and Lorette (who happen to also be two of the kindest people you will ever meet). The market is held on church property but it’s far from the stereotypical koeksister and secondhand book market we’ve come to expect from church fetes. I know because I assist my husband with his stall there for the past few years and have come to expect to be pleasantly surprised with the jewellery, fashion, accessories, decor and more from small businesses.

We are one week away from the next market and so I simply must write a piece I’ve been keeping from you for a while! At the last market, I spoke to some of the vendors about what it takes to run their businesses. Our conversations reminded me of the creative industry demonstrated by the Proverbs 31 woman. Reading over my notes, I am amazed at the depth of wisdom experience has taught them. I’ve distilled their advice into ten important ingredients for the modern day female entrepreneur:

1. Excellence

Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates. (Proverbs 31:31 NKJV)

There can be no entrepreneurship without excellence. Cutting corners is a big no-no and will catch up with you at some point. Customers are not easily fooled by shoddy work so a thriving small business requires that one always puts the best foot forward.

2. Leadership

She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens. (Proverbs 31:15)

A good leader sacrifices for staff: one entrepreneur admitted that she would take money from her personal accounts to pay her staff if the business had bad months. But becoming a good leader also requires learning how to follow. Ronel recommended finding a mentor and meeting once a month to learn from.

3. Unique Solutions

She considers a field and buys it (Proverbs 31:16a)

One of the most competitive genres for small businesses is jewellry. Amorique from Mark of A explained to me how her desire to create beautiful items was partly born from the frustration of not being able to find rings that fit her fingers. She encourages anyone with new ideas to never ever try to fit in as building your business on the basis of comparison will only yield flat and boring results. If you’re someone interested in creative ideas, I highly recommend the ‘Made to Create’ 6 week Bible Study.

Kies is where I met the awesome Purpose & Proverbs team. What kind and inspirational ladies!

4. Godly Direction

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

Pray, pray and pray for inspiration and direction from God. One lady shared with me how, in the difficulty of navigating her sales through the COVID pandemic, she and her business partner waited on God for a word in prayer. Once they felt that they had received direction, they acted on it in faith and continued to repeat it to themselves throughout challenges. Another lady shared that her desire to pivot her business started deep within her heart. Once she followed that inspiration, things quickly fell into place from her which she interprets as evidence of God’s grace and direction.

One of my first Tierlandtynkies markets as a barista back in 2014

5. Boldness

She is not afraid of snow for her household (Proverbs 31:21a)

Fear of failure is one of the largest barriers to success for anything, entrepreneurship included. Owning and running a small business takes a stomach for risk.

6. Attention to Detail

She looks well to the ways of her household (Proverbs 31:27a)

Toni, owner of Toni’s Pizza, emphasised that attention to detail is key. Know where every single cent is going. Ronel affirmed that being hands-on is vital for the health of your business.

7. Communication

She opens her mouth with wisdom (Proverbs 31:26a)

Clarity in branding helps customers to understand what you are offering them. Nini of Eat-a-bit shared that rebranding resulted in an increase in sales! Same business, same product, same owner, but improved communication! She went on to explain that she loves to chat with her customers and get a feel for what they do and don’t like. She uses this valuable information to improve her products and even as a place to find free ideas for new products.

8. Flexibility

Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come. (Proverbs 31:25)

One just cannot prepare for every eventuality. Wisdom and planning are great but when things go wrong, good entrepreneurs think on their feet to solve the problem. There’s nothing wrong with having a little cry of course! But never allow despair to prevent you from tackling unforeseen challenges.

9. Family

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her (Proverbs 31:28)

A couple of the ladies I spoke to mentioned how important family support is. It reminded me of how supportive my husband has been of my vision for this blog, Cup of Faith. One lady had her baby with her at her stand. She explained that she wants her daughter to be included into her life and so, with the support of parents and her husband, she bravely chooses to combine childcare with running her stand. Now that’s one advantage of being your own boss: autonomous parenting!

Helping Kendrick running his stall at Kies in April 2024

10. Hard Work

She rises while it is yet night (Proverbs 31:15a)
She … does not eat the bread of idleness. (Proverbs 31:27b)

There is no substitute for hard work. A common theme with all the women I spoke to was grit: giving it all and willingly giving up time to invest into nurturing the business into what you envision it to be. These women are not afraid to wake up early and go to bed late – something they share with the Proverbs 31 woman!

If you are around Pretoria next week I encourage you to come by and meet some of the incredible vendors!

You can find details about the market on Facebook.

Kate Walsh

Kate is the current owner and editor of Cup of Faith. She is a blogger who loves Jesus, loves to read, and currently lives in Johannesburg with her husband.

The post What Makes a Female Entrepreneur? 10 Essential Attributes appeared first on Cup of Faith.

This year has been one where I have been challenged around correct boundaries when it comes to sharing my home. Far from being a Martha Stewart, I’ve always been slightly uneasy about opening my home to others. However, I’ve come to find peace in it, seeing it as an opportunity to provide love, warmth, and connection, allowing others to see me in my most authentic form. We have therefore been hosting our church connect group for two years while also enjoying long stays from family visiting from out of town, and we have enjoyed opening our home within these contexts.

Hosting connect group has also allowed us the opportunity to open our home to strangers which is something scripture encourages us to do: “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” (Hebrews 13:2 NIV)

However, it is opening the home outside the fellowship and family context where I have recently hit a stumbling block. On two separate occasions involving different people, I unwisely agreed to requests pertaining to the use of our home which led to uncomfortable outcomes after having to rescind our welcome. In both instances, the individuals who had made the requests were people who we had previously helped in different ways due to their personal struggles, but who were not grounded in our church community and in hindsight, were emotionally — if not spiritually — unstable.

We should be willing to open our homes to others and we shouldn’t be afraid to let people into our personal space. However, as a friend wisely said, our home is our sanctuary. Not just physically, but spiritually too. It is also not only a sanctuary for us, but a sanctuary to those who God calls us to open our homes to. We therefore need to exercise discernment when it comes to who we welcome into it.

So how do we ensure we live obediently to God’s call while also maintaining correct boundaries? Living through my own experiences, together with the counsel from friends who gave advice during those experiences, I’ve briefly compiled three practical ways to find the balance between hospitality and protection of our most personal sanctuary, our home.

Protection through caution

The same friend (mentioned above) once suggested that we should never feel pressured to give an answer to a request immediately, but we can always ask if we can get back to the person later. This allows us the time to pray before giving an answer to ensure we are being faithful stewards of the time and resources that God has given us, while also properly considering anyone else who may be affected by the request. This cannot be more relevant than when it comes to our homes. When we invite someone into our home, have we allowed time for our Lord to guide us first? Have we considered those who live with us and who will therefore be directly affected by the arrangement? Delaying immediate responses allows us to consider these factors and is also a safe response for those of us who find it hard to say ‘no’, allowing us time to find the right words to decline in a clear, respectful, and polite way.

It also requires discipline. If you’re a people-pleaser like me, my default answer is always an eager-to-help-and-save-the-day ‘yes’. Often in the moment I’m convicted in my ‘yes’ and feel perfectly at ease. It is as the day progresses that I begin to realise I didn’t think it all the way through, whether it be regarding my capacity or how it affects others in my life. When it came to my home in the above two incidences for example, I certainly fitted the description in Proverbs 29:20 (NIV), “Do you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for them.”

Protection through context

Exercise caution in entertaining one-on-one with individuals you don’t know well or who are on the periphery of the church community, especially when it comes to hosting them in your home. Unless they are elders or well-established members, consider hosting them in a group setting, such as a connect group meeting at your home, social occasions with others from your church, or in a neutral place, such as a coffee shop.

This will ensure two things; firstly, because you are meeting in fellowship, the context is one that is under the authority of God and therefore regardless of the individual’s spiritual status, there is no risk of negative spiritual influence. Secondly, it ensures that the relationship is not misread by the person in question whereby they may think they are on closer terms and may feel free to visit frequently or unannounced. While you may be happy with having frequent or unannounced visitors, consider others who are exposed to your home and ensure you are not compromising their spiritual well-being with the presence of someone you don’t know well enough.

Protection through prayer

Having said the above, there are obviously contexts when you will have strangers enter your home without knowing them such as contractors for home maintenance, or other events where friends or family may bring partners etc. I also certainly don’t want to advocate a life of seeing a ‘demon under every bush,’ but evil is real, and therefore so is spiritual oppression.

Therefore, we should be protectors of our homes, and the best way we can protect our homes, is through prayer to our greatest Protector. When you have had a stranger in your home, especially one who has given you an uncomfortable feeling, I recommend that you pray over your home and look to scripture to refill your home with peace and truth.

“In peace, I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8 NIV).

To have a home is a blessing and with all blessings, we should always give thanks and share our blessings with others, especially those in need. However, like in all circumstances pertaining to giving, we should give prayerfully and in obedience to God, not recklessly or under compulsion. For our resources are not our own, and therefore we should always be giving according to God’s will, not ours.

Father God, thank you for my home. Thank you that you have given me the opportunity to share my home with others. Please give my wisdom and discernment in how I share my home with others, and I pray for all those who do not have a home or a safe dwelling place. Please may your Holy Spirit turn their eyes to you as their safe dwelling place and find comfort in you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Angela Chiaberta

I am a volunteer blogger with a passion for God and writing. My hope is to help others choose faith – or to walk deeper in their faith – through my own introspections and observations.

The post Protecting Your Sanctuary appeared first on Cup of Faith.

“Creativity is God’s gift to us. Using our creativity is our gift back to God.”

–Julia Cameron

Before we get into the ‘how’, let’s start with ‘why.’ Why become a more creative mother? As mothers, we are busy enough as it is, is this another thing for us to worry about? 

No, it is not. And what you will be happy to find, if you dare to try, is that creativity will lighten your burden, not add to it. 

The very first thing God tells us about Himself in the Bible, is that He is creative. Then He tells us that we are made in His image. “God created human beings; He created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature.” Genesis 1: 26-28 MSG

So right from the start, you can rest assured that you have been gifted with creative intelligence. There’s no debating that. Like any type of intelligence, is not fixed. It can grow in depth and strength through deliberate effort. 

Since you are reading this, it is most likely that you already want to become a more creative mother. Good! Creativity has been listed by the World Economic Forum as the number one skill rising in importance over the next five years. Having strong creative thinking skills is an asset to any jobseeker of the future. More importantly, for any Christ-follower who wants to be transformed into the image of our Lord (2 Cor 3:18 and Romans 8:29), we should seek to be more creative as He is creative. 

So, how do we do it?

There are lots of things that influence your children’s creativity and many of them are out of your control. However, here are some that are in your control:

1. Who you are
2. What you say
3. What you do

Let’s look at these one by one.

1. Who you are:

Be a role model for creativity

“Before you try to assist fellow passengers, please put your own oxygen mask on yourself.”

A great way to build creative thinking kids is to develop your own creativity. Whether we like it or not we are role models to our offspring. They are always watching us, learning from us and, consciously or unconsciously, mimicking our behaviour.  This is rather terrifying to me, especially when I think about all the behaviours that I am not proud of.

You don’t need to worry exactly how you are going to ‘role model’ this. Just make the decision to intentionally develop your creativity and know that this will rub off on your kids.  As you grow your creative mindset and develop your creative skillset, the changes will become evident in your interests, your conversations, your demeanour, your curiosity.

Your kids will do what you do. Immerse yourself in some creative pursuits. Wake up your inner child. Stop taking yourself so seriously! Unplug. Put on some music that lights you up inside. Set aside the schedule and the to-do list for a short while and take the lead from your kids. Make a mess. Be silly. Get involved with your hands. Use your imagination. Remember what fascinated you when you were young and explore that.

For more on how to get more creative yourself why not take our free quiz to find out what could be killing your creativity and enrol in our 5 Day Creative Wake-Up online course which will give you a step-by-step, practical process for reviving your creativity and taking it to the next level. (Best done over five days, it’s around 2.5 hours of video-based learning – not five full days!)

My daughter, Saskia, taking a creative risk😆

2. What you say:

Try to avoid these creativity squashers

“The words you speak become the house you live in.”

Written in fourteenth century Iran by esteemed poet Hafiz, this saying still applies today. Take a moment to think about the words that you speak to your children? What kinds of words do you use? What phrases do you say every day? What house are you building with your words?

In a recent study* of the effects of parenting on creativity in Chinese employees, it was found that a parent’s strong interest in and advice with studies had a positive effect on creativity. However, over-parenting in the way of over-involvement in daily affairs, excessive reminding of what to do when and overprotection from trials or failure had an adverse effect on creativity.

Though the intention is to help our kids, if we are not careful, the outcome could be that we train the creativity out of them.

Here are some creatively deadly phrases to avoid.

• “No, do it this way.” Implying that there is a ‘right’ way to do something will keep your child from taking creative risks.
• “That’s weird.” Creative expressions by definition often don’t conform to the norms and customs that we are used to. Rather cheer your child on for doing something you’ve never seen before.
• “Look how s/he did it!” or “Can you do x like so-and-so?” Comparisons tend to steer children away from confidence in their own way of doing things and makes them try to imitate their peers. Let them be inspired by others but watch where you might be comparing. (I’m sorry to say I think I inadvertently do this with my two daughters.)
• “And the winner is…!” When adults give awards and excessive praise for the best pictures, the best dance, the best poem, etc. children begin working for the award rather than using their creativity. When they don’t get the award or praise, the subliminal message is that “you are not creative enough.”
• “Just make this a bit more…” or “Just point your toes a little more…” There is a place for creative critique. However, we can undermine our children’s creative efforts, especially when they are starting out, if we become too nitpicky about what they have produced or performed. We should not nudge them to get it to our standards when they are still building creative confidence.
• “You’re making a mess! Stop that!” Now, there is a time for this phrase. (Hubbie, I’m talking to you.) However, when used every time a child tries a creative project, it is going to crush creativity. Help your child find safe places to be free and make a mess or a noise without worrying about the wrath of you coming down on their heads.

Managers take note: You can apply most of this thinking to how you speak to your team members!

3. What you do: Create an environment where their creativity can thrive

1. It’s okay to copy when you start out.

Tony Buzan used tell a story of kindergarten schoolteacher in an art class. The teacher asks the children to draw an aeroplane. They get going on their blank pages, but one child is uncertain. He’s not drawn an aeroplane before. He leans over to see what the boy next to him is drawing. The teacher notices and barks: “No copying!”

Yet, how else do we learn than by copying? Imagine a baby says its first word: “Dada!” and we said: “No copying! Make up your own words!” Let your child copy to start out, but then encourage them to try a little iteration of their own. From there they can try another, and soon they will have the confidence to go off on their own creative tangent.

Gabriella, as a pre-schooler, undaunted by a blank canvas

2. Imagine with your hands

Imagination is central to creativity, but you don’t only imagine with your mind. Your hands help too. When you get stuck in and start building or drawing or writing, your mind gets feedback that sparks more ideas and new thinking. This is why rough prototyping is such an important part of design thinking. If your child is stuck for ideas, give them some craft materials or LEGO bricks to tinker with and new ideas will emerge.

 3. Give them lots of different materials to make stuff with

Children are influenced by the toys and materials they have on hand. Take stock of what they have access to. Is it mostly pre-packaged toys and games, or do you have a wide variety of materials they can get creative with? Collect and make available fabric and threads, wood and nails, glue and tape, newspaper and birdseed, sand and sacking, programming tools and apps, paints and sponges, and so on. The more different types of materials they can work with, the more they can stretch their imaginations.

My daughters exploring whether hair makes a good paintbrush😂

4. Do longer projects as well as quick projects

Sometimes ideas need to ruminate. Not all creative projects should be completed in one sitting. When my girls were toddlers, I was dismayed at how quickly they finished creative projects. It would take me five times as long to set up the project as it took for them to finish it! Now that they are older (9 and 14), there should be some projects that they work on over time. This encourages deeper thought and experimentation, even time to dream over night about a project and bring new ideas to it.

 5. Help them to collaborate with other kids

Collaboration is a key part of creativity. The most innovative teams know this. When it comes to creativity, there is an exponential multiplier effect from new perspectives and ideas, when collaboration is done in a positive way. When egos, mistrust or poor communication take over collaboration can fail. Help your child to learn to collaborate by helping them to find other kids to work with. Whether it is the neighbours, cousins or children overseas that they meet online (with your guidance), they will benefit from practice in working collaboratively. Sometimes you might lead them to other children with similar interests, but also look for opportunities to meet and work with children with different interests or from different cultures or backgrounds. Diversity is the secret sauce of creativity.

 6.  It’s important for them to reflect

It is helpful for children to step back and think about the creative work that they are doing. Encourage them to apply their minds to their creative process. Ask them questions like: “What has been most surprising to you?” “What inspired you to try this?” If the project hasn’t worked out, ask them: “What were you hoping would happen?” As they describe their process to you, they may realise where they went wrong and come up with another solution.

Gaby is now in Grade 3 and is taking her creativity to new heights with mind maps

7. Talk about your failures

Take time to share your thinking with them. Talk about projects you are working on, ideas you have and how you are coming up with solutions. When things don’t work out for you, share your failures. Explain what went wrong and how it makes you feel. Talk about what you plan to do differently. Help your children become comfortable with trying hard things, being brave and moving on when things don’t work out. Frame new endeavours as experiments. Perseverance, self-belief and courage are vital for creative confidence.

Loris Malaguzzi was an Italian educator who believed that children are powerful and capable individuals who construct their own learning. He founded the Reggio approach which highlighted the creative arts; the involvement of parents and community; and respect for young children’s learning. His philosophy is summed up in his poem “The Hundred Languages”:

The child has

a hundred languages

(and a hundred hundred hundred more)

but they steal ninety-nine.

The school and the culture

separate the head from the body.

They tell the child:

to think without hands

to do without head

to listen and not to speak

to understand without joy

to love and to marvel

only at Easter and at Christmas.

 The road to creative confidence can be a long one. Don’t expect it to materialise overnight and certainly don’t overburden yourself with expectations. This is where you cast perfectionism aside, set down your worry pot and just try one small thing at a time.

“Ever since happiness heard your name,

it has been running through the streets trying to find you.” 

-Hafiz

______________

References

*Is overparenting harmful to creativity? Wenzhi Zheng, Yenchun Jim Wu, Zhanjie Ma and Yingping Mai, Huaqiao University, Fujian, China and National Taiwan Normal University, Taipei City, Taiwan. (2019)

Ideas for creating a creative environment from Lifelong Kindergarten: Cultivating Creativity through Projects, Passion, Peers, and Play. Mitchel Resnick, MIT Media Lab, Published by MIT Press (2017)

We would like to thank Nina Pearse for this guest post. Nina is a creativity and innovation speaker, trainer and coach. She is the author of the Made to Create Bible Study.

Guest Author

From time to time, Cup of Faith receives guest posts from people who would prefer to contribute to the blog once-off. These authors may choose to stay anonymous or may have their name featured in the post itself.

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Proverbs 31: 30-31

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honour her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

I have been thinking a lot lately about family, and what it means to belong. In February this year my husband, children and I have returned home to South Africa from Scotland to spend time with my extended family. I am always struck by how being in amongst my people brings me a sense of belonging, of unconditional love, of being filled.

At the head of this family is a godly matriarch we call gran. On this family holiday I was reflecting on the way seasons change, and generations shift. I remember many beach holidays where my gran would feed as many as 16 of us who were staying in her house. Carefully laid out smoked glass bowls, filled military style with fruit salad and then custard, my gran’s uniform: her apron. She was assisted by the next generation: my mom and her sisters, but she was the driving force behind it all. Day after day, meal after meal, she would stand behind the kitchen counter and dispense food to hungry family members waiting at the table. As a child, I didn’t give much thought to how the food got prepared and made it to my plate. Today as a mother myself, I am very aware of all the work that goes into planning, shopping, preparing and serving food to little people. There is something powerful in the repetition of these rituals, and in the way they shift and change. We come into this world being cared for, and then we become the one who cares, and then we need to allow ourselves to be cared for by those we have poured our love into.
These days, the roles have changed, and we have changed places. These days she is sitting at the dining room table and I am in the kitchen with my aunts peppering her with questions as I attempt to prepare family recipes that she has mastered over decades, and I am still learning. I know she feels the loss of all that she was able to do, and now has to let the rest of us do for her. Given half a chance she will take a knife in her hands, now gnarled with painful arthritis, and start preparing fruit at the dining table, or scoop crumbs in her vicinity into a tidy pile. Throughout her life, her driving force has been serving her family, and today that continues, it just looks a little different.

These times together are precious to me, and I do not take them for granted. They are also bitter sweet. There is an ache in the space between my gran and I, a missing link. We share a deep loss: her daughter, and my mother. Somehow, when we are together, that loss is both more keenly felt and lessened. This year it will be 15 years.

My gran is 96 years old, and though physically frail, her mind is still fierce. The year before last, she read through the bible from cover to cover, and she has a voracious appetite for learning. You will not find her without a book nearby- this time it’s CS Lewis. As I sat next to her the other day I noticed a piece of paper, carefully stored in a plastic envelope in the basket of her walker. I asked her what it was and she told me it was her prayer list. There, in her neat and careful writing were lists and lists of her family members, friends, people who have worked for her over the years, even close friends of mine who she has got to know. Most days she prays through this list. She said to me, “There is not a lot I can do these days, but as I sit here what I can do is pray.”

Maybe God designed it this way on purpose, as age forces us to slow, it brings a stillness where spiritual battles are fought. It brings me a lot of comfort and peace knowing that the battles I fight out in the world, are not fought alone. My gran is praying an army around me.

Jess Hill

Jess Hill is a South African who now lives in Scotland with her husband and two wild boys. She loves to write to see make sense of her story and to see God’s hand at work in her life. She is a therapist by day.

www.jessicahill.org

The post A Woman of Noble Character appeared first on Cup of Faith.

In desiring to wait in faith for a baby to be added to our family, my husband and I have drafted a scripture based petitioning prayer to pray together. We know that God is on our side – family is His design, after all. Our scripture-based prayers are not designed to ‘convince’ Him of our case. Instead, we long for our hearts to be united and hopeful during our in-between time.

This prayer devotional is based on that prayer.

If you’re currently hoping for an adoption, natural conception, or fertility treatment, this devotional is just for you. Find solace in allowing God to infuse your heart with hope, patience, and faith as you keep your focus on Him. I highly recommend taking this devotional journey alongside your spouse.

Find your free, downloadable copy of the Faith for Fertility prayer devotional here (no sign up required). You can also read it on YouVersion.

Please share this page with couples who may be experiencing something similar!

Kate Walsh

Kate is the current owner and editor of Cup of Faith. She is a blogger who loves Jesus, loves to read, and currently lives in Johannesburg with her husband.

The post Faith for Fertility appeared first on Cup of Faith.

It’s Mother’s Day month again and as I ponder this I can’t help but think about the changing roles of motherhood. As I have said in previous blog posts, my husband and I have 3 kids and over the course of the past 27 years (yikes, my oldest just turned 27!), my children have changed, and so has the shape of motherhood.

Surprise Beginnings

Our journey started with a surprise pregnancy, yes married people can have those too. We had put off having kids for a few years down the road; at least this is what we thought, until two hours at the doctor’s office, and a blood test moved up that timeline. Have you ever heard the saying: “Want to make God laugh? Then tell Him your plans.” I planned to finish school and have at least one degree, and I planned that my husband would have a full time job. Needless to say, at that time, having kids wasn’t even on our radar.

We took the news like two pros. Neither one of us was brave enough to admit that we were scared out of our wits! Enter our oldest daughter, at 8 lbs 15 oz (4.05 kg) she was going to make her presence known, she entered this world with the strong desire to make things right. From the time she first came out she had a scowl on her face, like she was judging everything my husband and I did. I had no idea how to be a mom, but I was not going to tell anyone that. Armed with every parenting book of that time, I devised another plan. Just in case you are wondering, the answer to your question is: “no”, I hadn’t learned my lesson about planning yet. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure I ever have.

My husband and I stumbled our way through those first five years and then, we decided to add another child to the chaos. Enter our son. Unlike our oldest daughter, our son was six weeks early. He was ready to enter the world, and he arrived the day before my birthday. Happy birthday to me! Due to the fact he was so early our little man had to stay in the NICU for a bit, to allow his lungs to develop. I say little guy, but he was almost two months early and he was already over 7 lbs (3.17 kg)! Weeks later at a wellness check up, my doctor noticed our son’s birth weight. He looked at me and said, “Are you a praying woman?” To which I replied, “yes.” He continued, “I can tell because this was going to be an 11 pound (5 kg) baby had you gone to term!” I think about that often as I look at my now 6 foot 5 inch 245 pound “baby” boy today, and thank God for his mercy.

Rounding the corner to our third child was easy. We were not necessarily planning to have a third (there goes God laughing again) but along she came and boy oh boy did she keep us on our toes. I like to say God gave us 2 mild and 1 spicy. Not to say the first two were easy, but our youngest turns up the heat in every area of our lives. Looking back on these past years all the laughter and tears, all the courage and fear I see God’s beautiful stitching weaved throughout it all. My journey of motherhood has had its ups and downs, but a recurring theme throughout all of it was learning, and growing. Obviously my children grew and learned, but as a mother I have too.

Learning to be a student

When my children were littles I was their whole world. I was responsible for feeding, and caring for them (along with my husband) and naturally they developed into independent humans who required less and less from me. Navigating this in the first few stages was a relief. I remember when our youngest was finally potty trained, I was so relieved to be all done with that. However, through some divine wisdom I also realized that I would miss these stages and I quickly learned to relish all the “lasts” with our youngest. I held on to those times, and they became very sweet moments to me. Even here my youngest child was teaching me a lesson.

As I enter into the next stage of my life my children have become some of my closest friends, not in an unhealthy way but in a way that I relate to them as being both a student and a teacher. I am not just talking about technology, although that is a BIG part of them teaching me. I do find myself being taught different lessons by each of them. In the same way I have also been taken care of by them. That last bit has required me to learn humility and to ask for help.

Embracing the cycle of life

As I navigate through some recent health challenges I have had to learn how to ask for help. As a mother, I had to set aside my pride of always being a caregiver and humble myself to be taken care of. This current role change has been full of tears, and yet still full of grace. Just yesterday I spent the entire day in the ER. My youngest daughter had to come along with me as my condition makes it difficult for me to navigate on my own. As she tended to me, tucking my feet into the bed and making sure my pillow was adjusted correctly I remembered back to a time when I did these things for her.

I keep hearing the still, steady voice of the lord saying to me “embrace the cycle of life, this is the natural course.” In my head this all makes sense, but my momma heart wants to always be the one to take care of my children. As I’m writing this, my oldest child is planning to move across the country, my son is planning on joining the Coast Guard and my youngest is planning the next portion of her life. It feels like pieces of me are being spread around, and yet again, my children are teaching me another lesson: how to let go.

God shaping us

Whether you are a mother, or you are hoping to be, the lessons that we are taught through this process are priceless. My prayer is that you allow yourself to be a student, and allow motherhood, however that looks like for you, to shape you into the person God has called you to become.

Ursala Pierce-Houser

Ursala and her husband have 3 children. She was raised in a faith based home. Being surrounded by people who loved to worship God gave her a passion for God’s word and a hunger to connect people to God thru writing. She has written 3 bible studies.

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