Kate Walsh

Kate is the current owner and editor of Cup of Faith. She is a blogger who loves Jesus, loves to read, and currently lives in Johannesburg with her husband.

The post Interview with Author Sister K: “Blessed with Laughter: Journey to Seeing Her Eyes” appeared first on Cup of Faith.

There’s a kind of inner split that few Christians talk about openly, but many of us feel at some point in our walk with God. I’ve come to call it the great schism. It’s that deep, often painful disconnect between what we know is true about God – because the Bible tells us so – and what our current reality is screaming back at us.

You know the tension. You’ve probably felt it too.

We say with conviction that God is good. We proclaim that He is our provider. Our healer. Faithful. Present. Yet there are seasons in life when those truths feel painfully hollow. Not because they aren’t true, but because they don’t seem to be true for us – right now.

I lived in that space for quite a while.

When the Mind Knows but the Heart Breaks

A few years ago, I was walking through the quiet, aching valley of infertility. Month after month of hope followed by heartbreak. I prayed. I fasted. I believed. I declared. I did all the “right” things. But the silence from heaven grew louder, more deafening, more disorienting. My theology said God is good. My heart whispered, “But is He good to me?”

That’s the kind of question that feels scandalous to admit out loud in Christian circles. But it’s the one that kept me up at night. I knew the verses. I could quote James 1:17 in my sleep: “Every good and perfect gift is from above.” I believed in the goodness of God like I believed in gravity. But in the middle of my pain, those truths started to feel distant, even cruel. What kind of good God withholds something so good?

That’s when I realised I was in a spiritual tug-of-war between what I believed and what I experienced.

The Tension is Biblical

If you’re there right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not faithless. In fact, you’re standing in a long tradition of believers who have wrestled with the same kind of dissonance.

Think of Job. A man who lived blamelessly, who honoured God in every way, yet lost everything – his children, his wealth, even his health. His friends were convinced his suffering was because of hidden sin. But Job knew differently. He just didn’t understand why a good God would allow so much pain. At one point, Job said, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15 ESV). That’s faith in the face of profound confusion.

Or take David. In the Psalms, he pours out his frustration, saying things like “Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1 ESV). These aren’t neat, Sunday-school prayers. They’re raw cries from a man wrestling with the seeming gap between God’s character and God’s actions.

Even Jesus, in His humanity, cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46 ESV). If the Son of God could feel abandoned, could feel the tension between truth and experience, then surely our doubts don’t disqualify us.

Faith Is Not Denial

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that faith means always having the right answers or always feeling hopeful. But biblical faith isn’t about denial; it’s about holding onto God even when everything in us wants to let go.

It’s choosing to say, “God, I don’t understand what You’re doing. I don’t like how this feels. But I still believe You are who You say You are.”

That’s not weak faith. That’s deep faith.

It’s faith that has been tested in the fire of disappointment and has chosen, again and again, to trust, even with a limp, even with tears, even with clenched fists.

So How Do We Reconcile the Gap?

This is the question I wrestled with the most. How do we reconcile what we know about God with what we experience when the two seem worlds apart?

I don’t claim to have all the answers, but here’s what I’ve learned – and what I’m still learning:

1. Acknowledge the Gap Honestly

Pretending everything’s fine doesn’t help. God isn’t threatened by our honesty. In fact, He invites it. The Psalms are full of brutal transparency, and yet God called David “a man after My own heart” (Acts 13:22). Lament is a biblical language. It makes space for grief and faith to coexist.

2. Anchor Yourself in the Bigger Story

When we focus only on our present pain, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. But Scripture reminds us that we’re part of an eternal story – a story where suffering isn’t meaningless and where God *will* make all things new.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Notice it doesn’t say all things are good. Infertility is not good. Suffering is not good. But somehow, mysteriously, God works through it all to bring about a greater good we may not fully see on this side of eternity.

3. Let Your Questions Lead You Closer

For a while, I feared that questioning God would create distance. But I found that my most honest questions became a bridge to deeper intimacy with Him. When I stopped pretending and started praying prayers like, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24), I found a God who didn’t rebuke me but instead met me with tenderness.

He doesn’t always give us explanations. But He always gives us Himself.

4. Remember That Jesus Entered Our Pain

One of the most comforting truths for me has been this: Jesus knows. He’s not a distant deity watching us suffer from afar. He entered into our broken world. He wept. He grieved. He felt abandoned. He suffered.

Hebrews 4:15 says we have a High Priest who can “sympathize with our weaknesses.” Jesus is not only our Saviour – He is our companion in suffering.

5. Choose to Worship Anyway

This one was the hardest for me. Worship felt hypocritical when I was full of doubt. I remember walking out of a service once during worship because I simply couldn’t do it. But slowly, I learned that worship isn’t just a response to good news – it’s a declaration of trust. It’s saying, “God, even in the dark, I choose to believe You’re still worthy.”

There’s a kind of worship that only comes from the valley. A song that only rises from broken places. And I believe that kind of worship is precious to God.

Walking With a Limp

I didn’t get the answer I prayed for in the way I expected. My story didn’t unfold the way I hoped. But I can say now, years later, that something beautiful happened in the brokenness.

My faith grew deeper. Not neater but deeper.

I still believe God is good. But now, that belief isn’t rooted in what He gives or doesn’t give. It’s rooted in *who He is*. And that’s a shift that suffering often brings.

The great schism between what we know and what we experience may never close entirely this side of heaven. It hasn’t for me. But God is not asking us to resolve the tension. He’s inviting us to trust Him within it.

Even when the prayers go unanswered. Even when the healing doesn’t come. Even when the silence lingers.
God is still good. And somehow, in ways we can’t always see, He is working all things together – not just to fix our story, but to redeem it.

Friend, you don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to tie a bow on your pain or resolve all your doubts to stay in God’s presence.

He welcomes you as you are. Confused. Tired. Hopeful. Hurting. Faithful. Doubting.

And He walks with you in the in-between.

The great schism doesn’t mean your faith is broken. It means your faith is being forged.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story. Have you ever walked through a season where God’s goodness felt out of reach? How did you navigate the tension between what you know and what you experienced?

Let’s create a space where honesty and faith can coexist.

Because they can.

Marthe Badibanga

A volunteer blogger whose passion is to see the people of God become all that the LORD intended them to be in their personal relationships with Him that overflow into their daily lives.

The post The Great Schism: When What We Believe About God Doesn’t Match What We Experience appeared first on Cup of Faith.

The Testimonies We Don’t Always Tell

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 NIV
We love stories that end in joy.
The kind where the waiting is rewarded, the prayer is answered, and the promise is fulfilled.
We celebrate the woman who finally had the baby, the man who finally got the job, and the couple who finally got married. And we should.
But what about the stories that don’t end that way?
What about the woman who never became a mother… and still found purpose?
What about the person whose long-awaited “yes” never came, yet they chose to stay faithful?
This is a reflection on both.
A story about hope fulfilled, and hope surrendered.
And how, in both, God is still good.

When the Movie Feels Like a Mirror: Watching “Broken Hallelujah”

A few weeks ago, I watched a Nigerian film called Broken Hallelujah. I’m a Nollywood girl through and through, so when I saw a new faith film from my favourite actresses, I had to tune in.
The story follows a woman who was barren for close to a decade. A faithful woman of God. A woman who loved the church, served alongside her husband in ministry, and built a beautiful life, except for the one thing her heart ached for: a child.
Year after year, she believed.
Year after year, nothing happened.
The movie beautifully portrayed the pain, the broken faith, the marital strain, and the quiet heartbreak of waiting on God for something so good, so deeply longed for. And then, God answered. Not just with one child, but triplets.
The ending was powerful. It was what we often call a “happy ending.”
And it was deeply moving.
But what happened the next day in class is what truly shifted something in me.

When the Prophecies Don’t Come True

In my Christian counselling class, my lecturer shared her personal testimony. Her story echoed the movie, but with a very different ending.
She, too, was barren for many years. She had received countless prophetic words about motherhood. One in particular stood out: a word that she would conceive a baby girl before the year ended.
So she planned. She believed. She took pregnancy tests month after month.
But by the end of the year… nothing.
And to make matters worse, she had gone up for prayer with three other women. All of them fell pregnant shortly after. Except her.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12 NIV
Her hope became heavy. She grew bitter. Angry. She stopped going to church, stopped praying, and stopped serving.
And yet, God was still pursuing her.

The Divine Question That Demands a Response

As she processed the disappointment with the Lord, something unexpected happened. God asked her a question:
“Would you be willing to surrender this one thing you desire most, so you can become who I’ve truly called you to be?”
She couldn’t answer immediately.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24 NIV
To let go of something so precious—something so longed for—is no small ask. But eventually… she said yes, just like the disciples.
She let go—not of the desire completely—but of the expectation. She placed it on the altar. Not as a bargaining chip, but as a sacrifice of trust.
And in that surrender, God revealed her real assignment.

Called to Mother Nations

God had called her not just to mother one child, but to mother many. Through her work as a Christian counsellor, she began healing marriages, guiding women, leading hurting people to Jesus, and helping the broken find freedom.
“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child… because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord. Isaiah 54:1 NIV
She is now a spiritual mother to many. Her “yes” to God’s will bore fruit far beyond anything she could have imagined.
Her story reminded me that we serve a God who gives purpose, even when He doesn’t give us what we asked for.

Two Stories. One God. No Less Faithful.

So here I was, reflecting on these two stories
One ends with triplets.
One ends with a purpose beyond expectation.
And both are valid.
Both are beautiful.
Both are testimonies of a God who writes different endings for different people, but is never less faithful in any of them.
Do I Love God More Than the Thing I’m Praying For?
This reflection confronted me.
How many times have I measured God’s goodness based on what I received from Him?
How often do I come to Him with a prayer list, but not with the humility to ask:
“Lord, what do You want for my life?”
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NIV
We love this verse. But “delight” doesn’t mean manipulating God into saying yes. It means coming so close to Him that His desires become our own.
That’s a harder kind of faith.
But it’s the one that sustains.

The Testimonies We Need to Hear More Of

I love the stories of “God did it!”
But we also need to hear:
“God didn’t do it the way I thought, but I trust Him anyway.”
These are the testimonies that anchor people. That disciple heart. That reminds us faith is not about outcomes, it’s about obedience.
Even if He does not… Daniel 3:18 NIV
This kind of faith isn’t built on the fire being quenched.
It’s built on the God who walks with us in it.

What If His “No” Is an Invitation Into Something Greater?

We must ask ourselves:
Are we surrendered enough to live out God’s story, even if it doesn’t look like our dream?
Because sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn’t waiting for the door to open.
It’s choosing to be content with where He’s placed you now.

Watch the Film + Reflect For Yourself
🎥 Watch Broken Hallelujah here: [https://youtu.be/modAD9y-9Tw?si=-VrcWl21_n78risE]
📖 Reflect on these questions:
What is one desire I’ve been struggling to surrender to God?

Have I asked Him what His desire is for my life?

Am I willing to follow, even if the path looks different from what I hoped?

Whether God gives us what we’re waiting for or calls us into something different, He is still good. Still faithful. Still enough.
Let’s build a faith that loves Him more than the things we’re asking Him for.
A faith that says, “Even if not… You are still worthy.”

Chola Tshilanga

Hi, I’m Chola Tshilanga! A passionate content creator and digital expert using her gift of writing to help others live a more intentional life in God while fulfilling their purpose, using God’s word as a compass.

The post Broken Hallelujah: When God’s “No” Is Still His Goodness appeared first on Cup of Faith.

In desiring to wait in faith for a baby to be added to our family, my husband and I have drafted a scripture based petitioning prayer to pray together. We know that God is on our side – family is His design, after all. Our scripture-based prayers are not designed to ‘convince’ Him of our case. Instead, we long for our hearts to be united and hopeful during our in-between time.

This prayer devotional is based on that prayer.

If you’re currently hoping for an adoption, natural conception, or fertility treatment, this devotional is just for you. Find solace in allowing God to infuse your heart with hope, patience, and faith as you keep your focus on Him. I highly recommend taking this devotional journey alongside your spouse.

Find your free, downloadable copy of the Faith for Fertility prayer devotional here (no sign up required). You can also read it on YouVersion.

Please share this page with couples who may be experiencing something similar!

Kate Walsh

Kate is the current owner and editor of Cup of Faith. She is a blogger who loves Jesus, loves to read, and currently lives in Johannesburg with her husband.

The post Faith for Fertility appeared first on Cup of Faith.