There’s a kind of inner split that few Christians talk about openly, but many of us feel at some point in our walk with God. I’ve come to call it the great schism. It’s that deep, often painful disconnect between what we know is true about God – because the Bible tells us so – and what our current reality is screaming back at us.

You know the tension. You’ve probably felt it too.

We say with conviction that God is good. We proclaim that He is our provider. Our healer. Faithful. Present. Yet there are seasons in life when those truths feel painfully hollow. Not because they aren’t true, but because they don’t seem to be true for us – right now.

I lived in that space for quite a while.

When the Mind Knows but the Heart Breaks

A few years ago, I was walking through the quiet, aching valley of infertility. Month after month of hope followed by heartbreak. I prayed. I fasted. I believed. I declared. I did all the “right” things. But the silence from heaven grew louder, more deafening, more disorienting. My theology said God is good. My heart whispered, “But is He good to me?”

That’s the kind of question that feels scandalous to admit out loud in Christian circles. But it’s the one that kept me up at night. I knew the verses. I could quote James 1:17 in my sleep: “Every good and perfect gift is from above.” I believed in the goodness of God like I believed in gravity. But in the middle of my pain, those truths started to feel distant, even cruel. What kind of good God withholds something so good?

That’s when I realised I was in a spiritual tug-of-war between what I believed and what I experienced.

The Tension is Biblical

If you’re there right now, I want you to know that you’re not alone and you’re not faithless. In fact, you’re standing in a long tradition of believers who have wrestled with the same kind of dissonance.

Think of Job. A man who lived blamelessly, who honoured God in every way, yet lost everything – his children, his wealth, even his health. His friends were convinced his suffering was because of hidden sin. But Job knew differently. He just didn’t understand why a good God would allow so much pain. At one point, Job said, “Though he slay me, I will hope in him” (Job 13:15 ESV). That’s faith in the face of profound confusion.

Or take David. In the Psalms, he pours out his frustration, saying things like “Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1 ESV). These aren’t neat, Sunday-school prayers. They’re raw cries from a man wrestling with the seeming gap between God’s character and God’s actions.

Even Jesus, in His humanity, cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46 ESV). If the Son of God could feel abandoned, could feel the tension between truth and experience, then surely our doubts don’t disqualify us.

Faith Is Not Denial

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that faith means always having the right answers or always feeling hopeful. But biblical faith isn’t about denial; it’s about holding onto God even when everything in us wants to let go.

It’s choosing to say, “God, I don’t understand what You’re doing. I don’t like how this feels. But I still believe You are who You say You are.”

That’s not weak faith. That’s deep faith.

It’s faith that has been tested in the fire of disappointment and has chosen, again and again, to trust, even with a limp, even with tears, even with clenched fists.

So How Do We Reconcile the Gap?

This is the question I wrestled with the most. How do we reconcile what we know about God with what we experience when the two seem worlds apart?

I don’t claim to have all the answers, but here’s what I’ve learned – and what I’m still learning:

1. Acknowledge the Gap Honestly

Pretending everything’s fine doesn’t help. God isn’t threatened by our honesty. In fact, He invites it. The Psalms are full of brutal transparency, and yet God called David “a man after My own heart” (Acts 13:22). Lament is a biblical language. It makes space for grief and faith to coexist.

2. Anchor Yourself in the Bigger Story

When we focus only on our present pain, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. But Scripture reminds us that we’re part of an eternal story – a story where suffering isn’t meaningless and where God *will* make all things new.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Notice it doesn’t say all things are good. Infertility is not good. Suffering is not good. But somehow, mysteriously, God works through it all to bring about a greater good we may not fully see on this side of eternity.

3. Let Your Questions Lead You Closer

For a while, I feared that questioning God would create distance. But I found that my most honest questions became a bridge to deeper intimacy with Him. When I stopped pretending and started praying prayers like, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24), I found a God who didn’t rebuke me but instead met me with tenderness.

He doesn’t always give us explanations. But He always gives us Himself.

4. Remember That Jesus Entered Our Pain

One of the most comforting truths for me has been this: Jesus knows. He’s not a distant deity watching us suffer from afar. He entered into our broken world. He wept. He grieved. He felt abandoned. He suffered.

Hebrews 4:15 says we have a High Priest who can “sympathize with our weaknesses.” Jesus is not only our Saviour – He is our companion in suffering.

5. Choose to Worship Anyway

This one was the hardest for me. Worship felt hypocritical when I was full of doubt. I remember walking out of a service once during worship because I simply couldn’t do it. But slowly, I learned that worship isn’t just a response to good news – it’s a declaration of trust. It’s saying, “God, even in the dark, I choose to believe You’re still worthy.”

There’s a kind of worship that only comes from the valley. A song that only rises from broken places. And I believe that kind of worship is precious to God.

Walking With a Limp

I didn’t get the answer I prayed for in the way I expected. My story didn’t unfold the way I hoped. But I can say now, years later, that something beautiful happened in the brokenness.

My faith grew deeper. Not neater but deeper.

I still believe God is good. But now, that belief isn’t rooted in what He gives or doesn’t give. It’s rooted in *who He is*. And that’s a shift that suffering often brings.

The great schism between what we know and what we experience may never close entirely this side of heaven. It hasn’t for me. But God is not asking us to resolve the tension. He’s inviting us to trust Him within it.

Even when the prayers go unanswered. Even when the healing doesn’t come. Even when the silence lingers.
God is still good. And somehow, in ways we can’t always see, He is working all things together – not just to fix our story, but to redeem it.

Friend, you don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to tie a bow on your pain or resolve all your doubts to stay in God’s presence.

He welcomes you as you are. Confused. Tired. Hopeful. Hurting. Faithful. Doubting.

And He walks with you in the in-between.

The great schism doesn’t mean your faith is broken. It means your faith is being forged.

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story. Have you ever walked through a season where God’s goodness felt out of reach? How did you navigate the tension between what you know and what you experienced?

Let’s create a space where honesty and faith can coexist.

Because they can.

Marthe Badibanga

A volunteer blogger whose passion is to see the people of God become all that the LORD intended them to be in their personal relationships with Him that overflow into their daily lives.

The post The Great Schism: When What We Believe About God Doesn’t Match What We Experience appeared first on Cup of Faith.

We live by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV

Sometimes the most ordinary moments carry the most divine reminders.
We think faith is this big, perfect thing we have to hold onto without wavering, but more often, it looks like trembling hands reaching for the handlebars again. It looks like movement, even if it’s shaky. Obedience, even if it’s small. Trust, even when we don’t know what’s ahead.

Starting Again at 27

Just yesterday, I learned how to ride a bicycle again at the age of 27.
It felt familiar, but entirely new. It had been years since I was last on a bike, and I had forgotten how to do it. From figuring out how to get on and push forward, to learning how to balance without wobbling or falling, to using the brakes safely, it all felt daunting.
As I stood there staring at the bike, one fear echoed in my mind: “I’m going to fall.”
But still, I got on.

Wobbles, Fear, and the Gift of Trying Again

Those first few tries were shaky. I was nervous and unsure, constantly thinking I would fail or hurt myself. But I wasn’t alone. Two dear friends were there, gently guiding me, patient, kind, and encouraging from the very beginning.
With each try, second, third, fourth, I became more confident. I didn’t get it perfectly, but I could feel myself improving. There was growth in the trying. I was becoming better with every ride.
Isn’t that exactly what faith is like?

Faith Is Trusting Without Perfect Balance

Our walk with God often mirrors those first moments on a bike.
There is no “graduation” in faith, no certificate that says “You’ve arrived.” It is a daily walk, an ongoing relationship of trust.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV
Just like I had to choose to get back on the bike each time I stumbled, faith requires us to try again, even when we feel uncertain or weak. It is not about being flawless, it is about trusting the One who holds us steady.

The Beauty of Weakness and Dependence

I learned something precious that day. Failure and weakness don’t define us, they remind us.
They remind us to depend on God. They remind us that we are not meant to journey alone. My ability to ride didn’t just come from within, I needed help. I needed patience. I needed people.
But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
Sometimes it takes failing to remember who carries us.

The Gift of Community

My two friends were more than just bystanders. They were part of the process. From affirming words to literally holding the bike or riding beside me, they never left me alone.
And by the end of our ride, we were cruising along a peaceful riverbank, surrounded by mountains. The very thing I had feared became a source of joy. I was riding, and I was not riding alone.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 NIV
That moment reminded me, faith is not a solo mission. God calls us into community, to lift one another, to walk together, to encourage and correct in love.

When God Only Shows You the First Step

As we rode, I reflected on how this moment mirrored what it feels like to trust God in a new season.
Learning to ride started with one step: getting on the bike. I didn’t know what would happen after that, I just had to start. Sometimes God does the same. He gives us just enough light for the next step and asks us to trust Him with the rest.
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
Psalm 119:105 NIV
Faith doesn’t always come with a roadmap. Often, it just begins with obedience.

The Peace That Comes With Trusting

There was a subtle peace and joy in my heart by the end of our ride. I had gone from fear to freedom. Not because I was perfect at riding, but because I had tried, and I had trusted.
And in that trust, God met me.
This entire experience reminded me that faith grows as we keep choosing it.
Choosing to believe.
Choosing to try again.
Choosing to trust Him more than our fear.

Reflection and Invitation

What is God asking you to step into, something that feels unfamiliar, uncertain, or even scary?
Maybe it is starting something new. Or trusting Him again after disappointment. Maybe it is releasing control or asking for help.
Whatever it is, take the first step.
He does not need your perfection. He just desires your heart, your yes, your trust.

Reflective Prompts for Your Journey

• What “bike” is God asking me to get on again?
• Who are the “friends” I can lean on in this season of faith?
• Have I confused weakness with failure, when it is actually an invitation to depend on God?

A Prayer to Close

Lord,
Teach me to trust You like a child learning to ride for the first time.
Help me release my fear, try again when I fall, and lean into the community you’ve given me.
Thank you for walking this journey with me, even when I’m wobbly.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Chola Tshilanga

Hi, I’m Chola Tshilanga! A passionate content creator and digital expert using her gift of writing to help others live a more intentional life in God while fulfilling their purpose, using God’s word as a compass.

The post Faith Is Like Riding a Bicycle appeared first on Cup of Faith.

The Testimonies We Don’t Always Tell

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 NIV
We love stories that end in joy.
The kind where the waiting is rewarded, the prayer is answered, and the promise is fulfilled.
We celebrate the woman who finally had the baby, the man who finally got the job, and the couple who finally got married. And we should.
But what about the stories that don’t end that way?
What about the woman who never became a mother… and still found purpose?
What about the person whose long-awaited “yes” never came, yet they chose to stay faithful?
This is a reflection on both.
A story about hope fulfilled, and hope surrendered.
And how, in both, God is still good.

When the Movie Feels Like a Mirror: Watching “Broken Hallelujah”

A few weeks ago, I watched a Nigerian film called Broken Hallelujah. I’m a Nollywood girl through and through, so when I saw a new faith film from my favourite actresses, I had to tune in.
The story follows a woman who was barren for close to a decade. A faithful woman of God. A woman who loved the church, served alongside her husband in ministry, and built a beautiful life, except for the one thing her heart ached for: a child.
Year after year, she believed.
Year after year, nothing happened.
The movie beautifully portrayed the pain, the broken faith, the marital strain, and the quiet heartbreak of waiting on God for something so good, so deeply longed for. And then, God answered. Not just with one child, but triplets.
The ending was powerful. It was what we often call a “happy ending.”
And it was deeply moving.
But what happened the next day in class is what truly shifted something in me.

When the Prophecies Don’t Come True

In my Christian counselling class, my lecturer shared her personal testimony. Her story echoed the movie, but with a very different ending.
She, too, was barren for many years. She had received countless prophetic words about motherhood. One in particular stood out: a word that she would conceive a baby girl before the year ended.
So she planned. She believed. She took pregnancy tests month after month.
But by the end of the year… nothing.
And to make matters worse, she had gone up for prayer with three other women. All of them fell pregnant shortly after. Except her.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12 NIV
Her hope became heavy. She grew bitter. Angry. She stopped going to church, stopped praying, and stopped serving.
And yet, God was still pursuing her.

The Divine Question That Demands a Response

As she processed the disappointment with the Lord, something unexpected happened. God asked her a question:
“Would you be willing to surrender this one thing you desire most, so you can become who I’ve truly called you to be?”
She couldn’t answer immediately.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Matthew 16:24 NIV
To let go of something so precious—something so longed for—is no small ask. But eventually… she said yes, just like the disciples.
She let go—not of the desire completely—but of the expectation. She placed it on the altar. Not as a bargaining chip, but as a sacrifice of trust.
And in that surrender, God revealed her real assignment.

Called to Mother Nations

God had called her not just to mother one child, but to mother many. Through her work as a Christian counsellor, she began healing marriages, guiding women, leading hurting people to Jesus, and helping the broken find freedom.
“Sing, barren woman, you who never bore a child… because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband,” says the Lord. Isaiah 54:1 NIV
She is now a spiritual mother to many. Her “yes” to God’s will bore fruit far beyond anything she could have imagined.
Her story reminded me that we serve a God who gives purpose, even when He doesn’t give us what we asked for.

Two Stories. One God. No Less Faithful.

So here I was, reflecting on these two stories
One ends with triplets.
One ends with a purpose beyond expectation.
And both are valid.
Both are beautiful.
Both are testimonies of a God who writes different endings for different people, but is never less faithful in any of them.
Do I Love God More Than the Thing I’m Praying For?
This reflection confronted me.
How many times have I measured God’s goodness based on what I received from Him?
How often do I come to Him with a prayer list, but not with the humility to ask:
“Lord, what do You want for my life?”
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 NIV
We love this verse. But “delight” doesn’t mean manipulating God into saying yes. It means coming so close to Him that His desires become our own.
That’s a harder kind of faith.
But it’s the one that sustains.

The Testimonies We Need to Hear More Of

I love the stories of “God did it!”
But we also need to hear:
“God didn’t do it the way I thought, but I trust Him anyway.”
These are the testimonies that anchor people. That disciple heart. That reminds us faith is not about outcomes, it’s about obedience.
Even if He does not… Daniel 3:18 NIV
This kind of faith isn’t built on the fire being quenched.
It’s built on the God who walks with us in it.

What If His “No” Is an Invitation Into Something Greater?

We must ask ourselves:
Are we surrendered enough to live out God’s story, even if it doesn’t look like our dream?
Because sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn’t waiting for the door to open.
It’s choosing to be content with where He’s placed you now.

Watch the Film + Reflect For Yourself
🎥 Watch Broken Hallelujah here: [https://youtu.be/modAD9y-9Tw?si=-VrcWl21_n78risE]
📖 Reflect on these questions:
What is one desire I’ve been struggling to surrender to God?

Have I asked Him what His desire is for my life?

Am I willing to follow, even if the path looks different from what I hoped?

Whether God gives us what we’re waiting for or calls us into something different, He is still good. Still faithful. Still enough.
Let’s build a faith that loves Him more than the things we’re asking Him for.
A faith that says, “Even if not… You are still worthy.”

Chola Tshilanga

Hi, I’m Chola Tshilanga! A passionate content creator and digital expert using her gift of writing to help others live a more intentional life in God while fulfilling their purpose, using God’s word as a compass.

The post Broken Hallelujah: When God’s “No” Is Still His Goodness appeared first on Cup of Faith.

Starting Strong but Rooted in the Right Foundation

We often begin the first quarter of the year with energy and high expectations, setting the tone for what we hope to achieve. But sometimes, if we’re honest, the foundation of our ambition is rooted in self. That was my case.

I believed that pouring myself into others and work projects would not only provide stability but also a sense of self-worth. The world promotes this culture—working tirelessly in our own strength, finding identity in our achievements. However, as children of the Kingdom of God, we are called to a completely different way of living, thinking, and relating to others.

Jesus reminds us in Matthew 6:33 (ESV) “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Our worth is not in what we do, but in whose we are.

The Power of Surrender

The Word of God instructs us to surrender our hearts so that we can experience the transformational leadership and guidance of the Holy Spirit. In my walk with the Lord, every time I have surrendered or let go of control, I have seen Him move in miraculous ways.

Sometimes, it’s a creative idea for a work project—something I believed would only come after an all-nighter—but instead, it came in a moment of stillness and rest in Him. As Psalm 46:10 (NIV) says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Surrender is trusting that His ways are better than ours.

What Does Surrender Look Like?

You might be wondering: What does surrender actually mean? What does it look like in daily life?

Imagine gripping onto a thick rope, holding it tightly because at the other end is something or someone you hold dear. Your hands are hurting, but you refuse to let go because you believe that if you do, everything will fall apart—or worse, you’ll lose yourself.

Surrender is choosing to let go of the rope and allowing God to place ointment on the scars on your hands. It’s trusting that He is holding you, even when you’re no longer holding on.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 (NKJV), “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Laying Down Everything for Him

Anything that holds a greater place in your heart than God is worth laying down at His feet. He alone should be our first and only love. Deuteronomy 6:5 (KJV) commands us, “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.”

Seeking God first means being honest about the things that have taken up space in our lives. It means making room for Him to heal, to renew our minds, and to give us a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7 ESV).

Just as we carefully plan how we want to show up in this new year, the foundation we build upon is crucial. 1 Corinthians 3:11 (NIV) reminds us, “For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.” He is the firm foundation, free of cracks or weaknesses. He desires to love, protect, and guide us into abundant life. His ways may be different from the world’s, but they are lasting and truly fulfilling.

Practical Steps to Surrender

Here are three steps that help me surrender when life feels overwhelming:

1. Pray Without Ceasing

Never grow weary of talking to God about where you are in life—your challenges, burdens, and uncertainties. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV) reminds us, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” Your weaknesses are God’s greatest opportunity to show His strength. Even faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains (Matthew 17:20, ESV).

2. Be Honest With God

God is not a man that He should lie or disappoint (Numbers 23:19, NKJV). Your vulnerability—whether about your mental, physical, or spiritual state—matters deeply to Him. He does not require perfection; He desires a heart that comes to Him in all seasons. John 15:2 (NIV) says, “He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” He refines us as we come to Him.

3. Let Go and Let God

This phrase is well-known, but the true test is in practising it. God can only move in your life when there is room in your heart. Letting go is not easy, but it is a sign of deep trust. Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV) instructs us, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”

Surrender means believing that God is greater than any situation, relationship, or outcome. It is the ultimate act of faith.

The Peace That Comes With Surrender

When people talk about surrender, they often focus on the weight of letting go. But rarely do we hear about the peace that follows.

I cannot count the number of times I have experienced unexplainable peace, even in the midst of difficulties, simply because I prayed and allowed God to be God in my life. Isaiah 26:3 (NIV) says, “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in You.”

If you’re struggling to surrender, I want to assure you that there is peace and victory on the other side of your obedience. As you lift your eyes to Him, know that He is already reaching down to journey with you.

Will you trust Him today?

Chola Tshilanga

Hi, I’m Chola Tshilanga! A passionate content creator and digital expert using her gift of writing to help others live a more intentional life in God while fulfilling their purpose, using God’s word as a compass.

The post Drawing Strength from a Surrendered Heart appeared first on Cup of Faith.