In light of Valentine’s Day coming up, I’d like to reflect a little on dating from a woman’s perspective.

My husband and I are going on eight years of marriage. Before that we dated for a year – so altogether that makes for nine years of going on dates together. Not as much as some but we certainly have some data to work with for this post!

We also have read a lot of relationship books over time. The content of these books change in value and application for us as our relationship matures and I love to keep them on our shelves to refer back to again and again. Dating is something everyone wants to keep fresh and exciting but as the years go on it sometimes takes intentionality to create space for special moments.

For example, I love this list* directing men to achieve the perfect conversation during a special date:

She wants to hear about:

• How wonderful she looks
• How you miss her
• How good it is to be with her
• Plans for your future together
• What you like about your relationship
• Plans for her future (to meet her personal dreams, goals, etc)
• Her interests (encourage her in them)
• How you met (reminisce about the wonderful beginnings)
• Why she’s special to you
• Positive things about the restaurant
• Her accomplishments
• Her day
• Her ideas
• The appreciation you have for all she does

She doesn’t want to hear about:

• The kids, the in-laws
• The office
• Looking forward to something that doesn’t involve her
• Anything negative, anything you don’t like about anything
• Topics you disagree on that may cause an argument
• Chores
• Expenses, bills, taxes
• Problems of today 
• Other women, past or present
• Negative things about the restaurant
• Your accomplishments
• Your day
• Your ideas
• The difficulties you had in planning this great date

*Taken from Sanna with Miller, How to Romance the Woman You Love, p158

Common knowledge says that communication is the key to a good relationship. Couples communicate all the time. It’s not for want of communication that dating and relationships can become frustrating.

I’ve found over time that communicating our expectations is in fact one of the most important ways we can strengthen our relationship. Assuming that the other person knows what we want and need leads nowhere good.

Telling him what you want

In the beginning sharing with my husband the ways in which I most experience love felt robotic, awkward, needy and just plain sad! Shouldn’t he just know what I want? Isn’t it plain unromantic for me to tell him what flowers are my favourite instead of him just… knowing? 

It’s not that they don’t love us and it’s not that they don’t want to romance us. They need us to help them. And when we help them, it’s far from selfish or self-centered. According to the postmodern theory of psychology, there are three elements in play in a dyadic relationship like a marriage. The two spouses plus the relationship itself. While I keep quiet about my needs and wants, my husband may be fine but the third element, the relationship itself, is suffering. Honestly, since I started taking conscious, intentional responsibility for the health of our relationship, my husband and I have both been richly rewarded. Sometimes what that responsibility looks like is accepting that he might not think our specific conversational topics during a date can make or break the success thereof. For his sake, for my sake and for the sake of my marriage, I honestly do send him the above list sometimes before our date! And he appreciates the gentle nudge.

Being specific about our conversational topics during date night is just one of many small ways we can incrementally improve our relationship. What about you? Do you feel like you are able to communicate your expectations about your relationship to your significant other? Or have you maybe found success already in choosing consciously to talk about the way you would like to be loved?

I have put together a printable PDF to bless your relationship and to keep dating fun! It includes prompts about what activities to do together, how to prepare for them and even some conversational prompts that might aid in steering the conversation away from politics! You can take a look at it here.

Kate Walsh

Kate is the current owner and editor of Cup of Faith. She is a blogger who loves Jesus, loves to read, and currently lives in Johannesburg with her husband.

The post Realistic Romance for Relationships appeared first on Cup of Faith.

This past Sunday during worship, I was moved by how wonderful and loving the Lord is and who it is we serve: my Creator King!  I wanted to share this worship song with you in the hope that it impacts you and gets you thinking about how deep your relationship with God is or even how much deeper it can become. We have the King of all Kings on our side!

Creator King

You Who made the mountains and the sea

Measured out the universe

And You made me

Echoes of the voice that called worlds to be

Reached through the ages and now speak to me

You’re my Creator King

You have made the valleys and the skies

Displayed Your love on far horizons

And before my eyes

You Who lit the stars and set the dawn in time

Called them all by name and now You whisper mine

You’re my Creator King

And who am I that You are mindful of me

And who am I that You set Your love on me

You’re my Creator King

You Who made the darkness and the light

Sun and moon to watch the day

And guard my night

A hand that stretched the heavens like a canopy

Reaches down to cover and watch over me

You’re my Creator King

CCLI Song # 4157377 Mary MacLean

© 2003 Integrity Worship Music (Admin. by Integrity Music) 

Is it not mind blowing that our Creator King designed and created the whole of the universe, everything inside of it and all of its complexity in just six days — and on day seven He rested!

God chose you and me before creation to be holy and blameless before Him dear beloved sister! (see Genesis 1:2; Ephesians 1).

How comforting is it to know that God watches over us and calls us by name? Who are we that He is mindful of us and that He sets His love on us. That despite our sins we are saved by Christ through faith. The Gospel is sufficient!

How great is He?

We serve a great, wonderful, big, righteous and loving God!

There is nothing He cannot handle as He is abundant in power and His understanding is beyond measure (Psalm 147:5). We need to realize that through His Word He will show us that the heavy lifting of life is not meant for us to carry alone but for Him to carry. He equips us with the armor of God to fight any battles.

•         Fasten the belt of truth
•         Breastplate of righteousness
•         Shoes put on given by the gospel of peace
•         In all circumstances take the shield of faith to extinguish all flaming darts of the evil one
•         Helmet of salvation
•         Sword of the Spirit which is the word of God

I challenge you today with a question: do you have a “war room” , a quiet space or a prayer strategy to seek God’s counsel before battle? I know I do!

What seems impossible to us is definitely possible for Him despite the situation you are currently facing. He knows every detail of our lives and we are special and precious to Him in every way., He cares deeply for us even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:7 

Prayer

My prayer for you my wonderfully and fearfully made sister is the following:

Dear Lord, I thank you for what you have done for me on the cross. I thank you that I get to have a personal growing relationship with you every day!

Lord, I come to you today as I am tired and worried and I do not know what to do please help me Father because I know you will give me rest, I will take your yoke upon myself and eagerly learn from you for I know you are gentle and lowly in heart, your yoke is easy and your burden is light. Search me, O God and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way of the everlasting! (Psalm 139:23-24).

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Blog post scripture reading for the day: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances because this is the will of God for you! 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Sylvia van Jaarsveld

I’m a volunteer blogger. Welcome to my blog posts! May my writings be an inspiration to you and an aid to get you into a biblical mindset: “It’s never me but God!”
Let us grow together!
~Col 2:6-8

The post Celebrating the Creator King appeared first on Cup of Faith.

The Jesus Collective (TJC) is an evangelical music ministry that consists of a collective of worshippers who have a passion for spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ throughout Africa and the world.

Birthed during revival worship conferences in Montagu, Robertson, Bonnievale and Ashton in the Western Cape, it quickly spread throughout South Africa with worship experiences in Johannesburg, Cape Town and Pretoria. Well-known worshippers included Loyiso Bala, Mahalia Buchanan, Lebohang Kgapola, Hle Ntombela, Jonathan Rubain, Ernie Smith, Janine Price, Ntokozo and Nqubeko, Spencer Kennedy, Byron Levi, Varonica Meyer and Don Vino.

The Jesus Collective is the brainchild of Hilton Petersen whose heart for seeing people come to experience the love of Jesus through worship has inspired him to start TJC. Not only as a set of events but a ministry that reaches all demographics of people from the richest to the poorest. Hence, the plan for TJC is not to charge a fee for these worship experiences but to allow audiences to attend these events free of charge. Although TJC is under the pastoral care of Apostle Eugene Angers (ACIM), it believes in partnering with ministries so that souls that are gained for the Kingdom of God can find a home in their local communities.

September 6th 2019 will see the release of the debut single and music video Yahweh, by TJC featuring Loyiso Bala, Byron Levi, Lebohang Kgapola, Spencer Kennedy and Don Vino. Yahweh was written by Byron Levi out of brokenness, following the death of his brother who was shot by a gang member close to his family home. This unfortunate incident left Byron confused about the love of God in relation to the works of the enemy. However, during his quiet time, the Holy Spirit began to show him broken pieces of his life crying out the name of Yahweh. As they began to cry out, Byron started to experience wholeness.

Through this song, TJC hopes to carry the message of the fullness of God to the rest of Africa and the world, not only through music and singing, but also through their heart for worship.

Yahweh will be available on all digital platforms, 6th September 2019. To Pre-Save Yahweh, follow this link.

Megan Kelly Botha

I’m a coffee-wielding mood reader and romance book collector who may or may not have a slight addiction to buying books. I read a variety of sub-genres within romance, including rom-coms, dark romance, and fantasy. I love sharing my thoughts on books, whether it’s through book reviews, quotes, or recommendations inspired by my current reads. Through my romance book blog, Literary Inspired, I aim to provide in-depth book reviews, curated reading recommendations, and exclusive author promotions. I’m passionate about supporting indie authors and sharing my latest book discoveries with others. When I’m not reading, you can find me cheering on my favorite football team and F1 drivers, crafting, baking with my kids or playing with my pets.

literaryinspired.com/

The post The Jesus Collective Debut Their Single ‘Yahweh’ appeared first on Cup of Faith.