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	<title>Hazel Moonsamy, Author at Cup of Faith</title>
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		<title>A ‘Fibre’ Nation</title>
		<link>https://cupoffaith.co.za/a-fibre-nation/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Hazel Moonsamy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 May 2021 06:00:25 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/a-fibre-nation/" title="A ‘Fibre’ Nation" rel="nofollow" data-wpel-link="internal"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-768x512.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="1" decoding="async" fetchpriority="high" srcset="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-300x200.jpg 300w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-700x467.jpg 700w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5.jpg 1920w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></a><p>Ever feel like packing your bags and driving to a secluded area, perhaps the mountains, an Island or maybe a quite village on a coastline somewhere.  I wish Scandinavia was near Underberg or Bali was a train ride away. Unlike my fantasies, illusions are so...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/a-fibre-nation/" data-wpel-link="internal">A ‘Fibre’ Nation</a> appeared first on <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za" data-wpel-link="internal">Cup of Faith</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/a-fibre-nation/" title="A ‘Fibre’ Nation" rel="nofollow" data-wpel-link="internal"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-768x512.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="1" decoding="async" srcset="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-300x200.jpg 300w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5-700x467.jpg 700w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Featured-Image-5.jpg 1920w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></a><p>Ever feel like packing your bags and driving to a secluded area, perhaps the mountains, an Island or maybe a quite village on a coastline somewhere.  I wish Scandinavia was near Underberg or Bali was a train ride away. Unlike my fantasies, illusions are so much better (LOL).  On this getaway, we shut down our cell phones, IPADS, laptops, any device connected to the internet and live off the grid for a week.  Yes, I said it, “Shut down the cell phone, turn it off, unplug the gadgets and devices and live off the grid.”  Painful isn’t it?  The very idea that one can suggest this, must prove my insanity.  So, before judgement is passed down, please hold off with the axing of my head or burning me alive at the stake.  The divide is real, technology has crept in and our dependency on the internet could be the beginning to an end of the human connection.</p>
<p>A few nights ago, I watched a movie on Netflix called, “Save me,” brilliant and funny but prompted so many thoughts.  The story line was good, screenplay average but the plot, let’s just say that, eight Easter eggs later, I was busy conversing internally on a whole new level.  My mind would not shut off, the banter back and forth (point A to B in my brain) and one might have assumed it was purely due to a sugar rush of sorts (someone once said that sugar is Satan in disguise and that it makes you high like Cocaine).  However, I was committed in rationalising this sudden influx of unspoken full sentences and I was on a quest to expose my thoughts.  Ah! Traitor! ‘my mind yells,’ but my conscience shouts, ‘Go tell the masses!’</p>
<p>Enter the Cellular phone (and any device connected to the internet), a beauty for most, big, strong, brilliant, colourful, loud or silent your choice, a friend perhaps, partners, a lifeline and for some their entire world begins or continues with Siri, Bixby or Alexa.  Let’s face it, Cell phones are not just a part of our mortal existence but engraved into each and every fibre (no pun intended) of our beings.  It is imbedded into our DNA and sadly, chances are that we cannot live without, <strong>“IT.”</strong>  <strong>So, what is it that makes us want IT?  </strong>IT represents a host of different reasons to most people.  For me I enjoy countless hours of, ‘You tubing’ (I wonder if I can coin that word).  I am at my happiest when watching random videos of ice skating, weddings, competitive ballroom dancing and my favourite of course, work out videos (that I never follow) all whilst Lilly Singh makes me chuckle.  Yes, the single life.  It surely has its benefits, more hours to kill while surfing the information highway.  Do we ever stop to think how much of our lives are spent surfing the information highway?  If one can honestly answer, then hopefully repenting will be duly noted at some point.  An average person spends at least half the day surfing the net, checking in daily to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, shopping online, checking the weather and of course, ‘Googling.’  Whilst all this may sound fair and good, and pose no immediate threats, in fact having access to the, ‘whole world’ by just a mere touch of a few buttons is in itself amazing.</p>
<p>Advancements in technology has indeed improved our lifestyles and we have come a long way since the inventions of the telephone and microwave ovens.  The questions that gnaws at the very end of my life, you know that outer layer we have, corner of denial and confusion lanes just around the bend from, What the hell are you doing Avenue? Why can’t we function without our cells?  Are we secretly obsessed with the internet?  Is this obsession interfering with our daily lives?  Are we addicted to fibre and does our cells serve as a quick fix?  Just because you use the Internet a lot – watch a lot of YouTube videos, shop online frequently, or like to check social media does not mean you suffer from any Internet Addiction Disorders. The trouble arises when these activities start to interfere with your daily life.  It is already quite alarming that so much of, ‘us is out there,’ and to note that we do not live a private life at all.</p>
<p>We as humans feel the need to belong.  Social systems are designed around units of social organization – we have an erring need to be nested in some set of social relationships. Humans are social beings.  The implications for technology here – which we perceive as always changing – is that everything, from the introduction of the telephone to the mobile phone is about keeping familial connections, email, sharing photos, social media, digital cameras, etc. Humans as social beings is at the heart of everything.</p>
<p>Well, with all the fantastical things that the internet has provided us with, it certainly has brought us further away from real human connection.  Have you ever noticed when you out and about at the mall or at a restaurant that people although sitting at the same table are not conversing or engaging?  In fact, a few glances here and there, some words exchanged and even if there is some sort of interaction between people, it is always coupled with the cell phone in tow.  God forbid we misplace our cell phones, drop it, forget it somewhere or the battery dies, life as we know it ends then and there.  We can all attest to the fact that the human connection is so important.  After all we are human right?  Artificial Intelligence (AI) would have you believe otherwise; robots can converse with humans and in some arenas are even the choice of company these days.  None the less, almost everything is possible with the collection of the right amount of data.</p>
<p>Think back to a life without cellular phones, no internet, no computers or even laptops, all we had was good old-fashioned conversation, the newspaper and television.    Mothers and teens conversed over dinner, Dads played soccer with their sons in the backyard, people visited each other and we were more conscience of a life not lived on a screen or as told by Google.  The quality of life was different and people placed more emphasis on the family.  I love technology and all the joys that come with it but somehow, we are evolving into a specie more fixated with the virtual world than connecting in the real one.  I wonder what would the long-term effects be, how ‘damaged’ would humans become, would we lose some of our faculties?  Can we draw a line between these two worlds and do we even know the difference? Marriages are falling apart, relationships are hanging on by threads, kids prefer gaming as opposed to playing outdoors, ‘interaction’ is a forgotten tool as we slowly creep into a silent online world where technology is our ruler.</p>
<p>I cannot imagine a world where communication is limited, even during this pandemic, the internet plays its role of connecting people virtually, yet I miss engaging with my fellow humans in the flesh.  There is something about that factor of connecting with people face to face, so to speak.  How many of us can truly unplug the devices for a week without even thinking of WhatsApp or Facebook messages?  I bet you almost none of us can or will be willing to do so.  We long for togetherness, the idea that we need to feel and the necessity of it all.  Can we envision a world where robots are the source of connecting in ‘human’ format or would sending virtual kisses ever equate to the real ones?</p>
<p>I like the smell of rain after the storm, I like walking barefoot on the grass, love the ocean and how it never seems to end, I like the sound of birds chirping and I love hugs.  Now imagine; what if future generations never witness the joys of these simple pleasures and the extension of the human connection, not because they chose not to but because they never knew this kind of connection existed.  Scary, but this is not a very hard image to imagine.  Whilst there maybe a million images to replicate these sceneries none would enable you to actually ‘feel.’  Have we become ‘robotic’ in our thinking?  Like it or not, we have allowed life to overwhelm us. We live in a fast-paced world where we have accepted the rules of the rat race.  We are all part and parcel of this evolution of the human mind and there is no definite answer as to where this may lead too.  We all heard the conspiracy theories and read many articles on the fate of man, but in all honesty, it is up to ‘US’ to determine how we want to raise our children and set the pace for our families whilst we pray for the best.  There is no stopping us from moving into is a world that is driven by Technology.  Where machines are built to think and act quicker than man and whilst we will always search for the human connection, Artificial Intelligence is made to mimic human nature.  Is the internet pulling us closer virtually or pushing us away physically?  The more time we spend online the less time we spend with people. There are studies that conclude, among other things, the more time people spend on the Internet, the less they interact with family and friends physically and over the phone, the smaller their social circles become, and the more they feel depressed. As society rapidly approaches full Internet integration, it is important to consider the consequences of being connected virtually, and whether it is worth the risk of becoming disconnected physically.</p>
<p>Ever wondered what, “Jesus would tweet?’  The internet is neither good nor bad.  It is how people use it that determines whether it is a force for good or bad. Jesus taught that: ‘A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.’ (Luke 6:45) I can only assume that God would want us to spread his good word using this platform and to be cautious as to what is communicated.  We are a people that is governed by God’s laws and in his word connection in the kingdom is very important.  Aligning ourselves with the word and remaining connected to people in our churches is very vital for spiritual growth.</p>
<p>There are seven billion humans on the planet, all seeking connection with the world and each other via product choices, online activities, sources of news and information, and our notions of the world, and all of this is on display in our digital world, easier to both access and manipulate than ever before. In this, there is promise, but there is also vulnerability.  Perhaps we can try to limit our dependency on the internet, take those long walks, vacation in the berg and maybe play a game of volleyball with the kids outside.</p>
<div class="saboxplugin-wrap" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person" itemscope itemprop="author"><div class="saboxplugin-tab"><div class="saboxplugin-gravatar"><img decoding="async" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Contributor-Profile-Image-1.png" width="100"  height="100" alt="Christian Blog and Online Women&#039;s Ministry in South Africa - Cup of Faith" itemprop="image"></div><div class="saboxplugin-authorname"><a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/author/hazel-moonsamy/" class="vcard author" rel="author" data-wpel-link="internal"><span class="fn">Hazel Moonsamy</span></a></div><div class="saboxplugin-desc"><div itemprop="description"><p>Hazel Moonsamy has 15 years of experience in local Government serving in the Mayor&#8217;s office of Ethekwini, stationed with the Deputy Mayor. She has extensive political knowledge and shares a desire to aid the less fortunate. She is passionate about her walk with Christ and does not shy away from revealing her love for Christ. Hazel has been the news anchor on Megazone Radio for two years and currently hosts her own show called the Saturday Rejoice on Radio Hallelujah. She attends New Hope Ministries in Durban. She has taught Sunday School since the age of 12 years, led worship, and was actively involved in youth and Children&#8217;s ministry.</p>
</div></div><div class="clearfix"></div><div class="saboxplugin-socials "><a title="Instagram" target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/hazelmoonsamy/" rel="noopener nofollow external noreferrer" class="saboxplugin-icon-grey" data-wpel-link="external"><svg aria-hidden="true" class="sab-instagram" role="img" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 448 512"><path fill="currentColor" d="M224.1 141c-63.6 0-114.9 51.3-114.9 114.9s51.3 114.9 114.9 114.9S339 319.5 339 255.9 287.7 141 224.1 141zm0 189.6c-41.1 0-74.7-33.5-74.7-74.7s33.5-74.7 74.7-74.7 74.7 33.5 74.7 74.7-33.6 74.7-74.7 74.7zm146.4-194.3c0 14.9-12 26.8-26.8 26.8-14.9 0-26.8-12-26.8-26.8s12-26.8 26.8-26.8 26.8 12 26.8 26.8zm76.1 27.2c-1.7-35.9-9.9-67.7-36.2-93.9-26.2-26.2-58-34.4-93.9-36.2-37-2.1-147.9-2.1-184.9 0-35.8 1.7-67.6 9.9-93.9 36.1s-34.4 58-36.2 93.9c-2.1 37-2.1 147.9 0 184.9 1.7 35.9 9.9 67.7 36.2 93.9s58 34.4 93.9 36.2c37 2.1 147.9 2.1 184.9 0 35.9-1.7 67.7-9.9 93.9-36.2 26.2-26.2 34.4-58 36.2-93.9 2.1-37 2.1-147.8 0-184.8zM398.8 388c-7.8 19.6-22.9 34.7-42.6 42.6-29.5 11.7-99.5 9-132.1 9s-102.7 2.6-132.1-9c-19.6-7.8-34.7-22.9-42.6-42.6-11.7-29.5-9-99.5-9-132.1s-2.6-102.7 9-132.1c7.8-19.6 22.9-34.7 42.6-42.6 29.5-11.7 99.5-9 132.1-9s102.7-2.6 132.1 9c19.6 7.8 34.7 22.9 42.6 42.6 11.7 29.5 9 99.5 9 132.1s2.7 102.7-9 132.1z"></path></svg></span></a></div></div></div><p>The post <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/a-fibre-nation/" data-wpel-link="internal">A ‘Fibre’ Nation</a> appeared first on <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za" data-wpel-link="internal">Cup of Faith</a>.</p>
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		<title>Pretty Girl Syndrome</title>
		<link>https://cupoffaith.co.za/pretty-girl-syndrome/</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Hazel Moonsamy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Mar 2021 06:30:40 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/pretty-girl-syndrome/" title="Pretty Girl Syndrome" rel="nofollow" data-wpel-link="internal"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-768x512.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Christian Blog and Online Women&#039;s Ministry in South Africa - Cup of Faith" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-700x467.jpg 700w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2.jpg 1920w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></a><p>When I was little, like most young girls one of the things we most desired was to wear makeup.  We wanted to have the darkest red or pink lips, painted nails and adorn the highest heels.  This was a combo ready to make us feel...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/pretty-girl-syndrome/" data-wpel-link="internal">Pretty Girl Syndrome</a> appeared first on <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za" data-wpel-link="internal">Cup of Faith</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/pretty-girl-syndrome/" title="Pretty Girl Syndrome" rel="nofollow" data-wpel-link="internal"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-768x512.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Christian Blog and Online Women&#039;s Ministry in South Africa - Cup of Faith" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2-700x467.jpg 700w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Featured-Image-2.jpg 1920w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></a><p>When I was little, like most young girls one of the things we most desired was to wear makeup.  We wanted to have the darkest red or pink lips, painted nails and adorn the highest heels.  This was a combo ready to make us feel all grown up but above all else it made us feel and look pretty.  Pretty like Cinderella or a Bollywood queen.  Alas, for most of us living in a disciplined household this made makeup an unlikely reality for a 10-year-old (thankfully) until we were much older and possibly earning our own income.  Lucky for those who were born into the Tinkerbell era, “kiddie play lipstick was heaven sent.”  We breezed through primary school admiring our female teachers who wore perfect 80’s and 90’s makeup whilst we admired in silence.</p>
<p>Do you remember the first time you put on that Revlon matte Colour Stay lipstick?  This was all the rage back then and Revlon catered for darker-skinned complexions.  I loved grape and burgundy colours and felt so; ‘Rose’ like, onboard the, “Titanic” (If only I could have slapped my younger self). Fast forward to today and eons in between trying to find the right shade of foundation verses concealer coupled with which brand works better &#8211; it’s exhausting just to think about it.  Ladies far and wide can attest to those things that make us feel special and look pretty.  Makeup is like therapy for most, it really does make your face look, ‘perfect’, even if we do not necessarily feel like perfection. How can we hide away from this larger than life must-have? Makeup is everywhere, countless online tutorials, Hollywood, advertisements, magazines, television, billboards, you get the picture, it has become a part of our very mortal existence.  When we were younger, at some point in all our lives, we noticed that people tendered favour to the, ‘so-called pretty women’, who just happen to look like models, and it was there and then that some of us decided that makeup and pretty go hand in hand.</p>
<p>Ironically, my interpretation of the changing trends in fashion brought us different ways of applying makeup over the years.  From wearing too much makeup (80’s) to Goth early nighties, Cat eye, Racoon eye, Smokey eye to the Bare minimum of the Millennium to presently anything goes.  For me it’s much too complicated and I rather stick to the less is more routine (because it works for me).  I am in awe of those ladies who look like they have just stepped out of a Vogue cover shoot.</p>
<p>When I was 16, I had a crush on a boy that was four years older than me.  He was my, ‘Pacey’ from Dawson’s Creek.  It was mortifying to know that he did not recognise, ‘Plain Jane Me.’  I spent weeks planning my, ‘coming out party.’ Then on that fateful day it was time, ‘D’ day had arrived.  Hijacking the sister’s makeup, spending two hours to apply it, then throwing on jeans and a ribbed tank top (the imagery just made me a little sick &#8211; LOL) and add a dash of my sparkling personality, I was sure to reel in my crush.  Like with all major flops in life, this was epic.  I somehow knew where he would be and magically appeared, not much to my surprise when he greeted me and could not stop looking at me.  Here I was thinking it was a match made in heaven and for just a split second on Temple wood grounds, I could hear church bells ringing.  The ringing sound was indeed real and I could have easily mistaken his laughter out loud for bells.  Yes, he laughed out loud on my face and inquired, “Why do I resemble Casper?”  He then went on to ask,” Why where my lips bleeding?” and then to add major insult to injury, asked, “If I was on any medication?”  The entire situation left me baffled and honestly confused.  Okay, yes, I looked like a clown and should have asked for help with the makeup application or perhaps just not overdid it.  But as much as I laugh about it now and it should be duly noted that, ‘Pacey’ and I ended up been the best of buddies, I really wondered why us girls put ourselves through so much stress to look good for a boy?  Somewhere down the line, ‘someone or something,’ convinced me that, ‘Pretty’ meant that one changes or alters ‘something’ physically to enhance their own beauty and perception of beauty as told by, ‘others.’  I am sure that we darker skinned girls would be millionaires if we had a rand for every time someone complimented us for been pretty; wait for it, for a dark-skinned girl (that’s altogether another article).  Lingering with that same note, we bought into the whole idea that makeup made us pretty.  Surprisingly, my compliments have improved over the years, over the last five years I am told that I look awesome but would look so much better without my specs.  I wonder why, perhaps, “The nerdy look is not associated with been pretty.”  Luckily, I am not swayed that easily and therefore the specs shall remain at their current occupancy.</p>
<p>Well, our male counterparts definitely play a significant part of the, ‘Pretty girl syndrome’ saga.  I mean amidst the 101 reasons why men are attracted to women, one of them is clearly superficial beauty.  Now, I am not saying that women are not superficial but I am stressing that society has influenced our ideas and answer to, “What is pretty?”  Every cover girl from Vogue to a MNET TV guide had girls that did not look like a ‘Plain Jane,’ but more like,’ Barbie at the beach.’  So, in keeping with fairness, some of our brothers did not have a proper framework to help them comprehend that, ‘Pretty’ meant more than just a, ‘well-brushed face.’</p>
<p>We toil in labour as we pluck, iron, tweeze, shave, pull, tuck, shape, straighten, laser, tan, moisturise, glue, cut, stitch and all and all, all in the name of, ‘Pretty.’  Ah, to be pretty is the notion and how to be is the question?</p>
<p>So, what if we imagined a world where pretty meant individualism, changing the whole narrative on the concept of beauty.  Yes, we all have heard and seen the plus-sized models, the dark-skinned women gracing the covers of fashion magazines, natural hair versus wigs and so on and thankfully trends are changing the way we view women and beauty.  One may ask, is it enough to convince us or is it just enough for large corporations to tap into markets that are lucrative?  Why do we still see images of photoshopped models on the covers of magazines? Why must there be a plus-size model category? Why should we be told we need a series of products to apply daily to our skin so that we could look like a better version of ourselves?  Is the original that God created not good enough?  Aren’t we women tired of been dictated and told what we should look like?  Society has really played a number on us.  We should be exhausted by having to explain why ‘eyebrows are not done’ or ‘nails not painted,’ maybe as mothers, time plays a factor, or one’s priority is placed on other things, then there are the monetary concerns as well, keeping up with, ‘maintenance,’ can tally up.  Not adhering to these tasks, in no way makes any woman any less of a woman.</p>
<p>Perhaps we can push the agenda on having good skin as opposed to, ‘covering up’ or teaching our little girls that it is okay to have blemishes or acne (whilst the bad skin gets healthy) so that when they do go to school or campus and work, they have the confidence to walk into a room without second-guessing themselves.  More so, that if they are rejected purely based on their looks, they have the confidence to understand that it is not because of who they are but the fault of the awful and fickle system in which they were born into.  However, change is on the horizon and there are women out there that are making significant strides to these very changes.</p>
<p>I ask myself these questions to help alleviate the pressures that society has directly and indirectly placed on us females.  My gripe is not at all aimed at makeup, I love lipstick and eyeliner but I am sensitive to the fact that some of us feel it is a must to cover up daily because we feel we have too.  This is no fault of ours, somehow, we have been conditioned into thinking that we need too.  “Maybe it’s Maybelline, maybe it’s me?” But I would like to think, “It’s because I’m worth it.”</p>
<p>It is said that “Confidence is 99% and 1% lip gloss.”  We should take a few lines out of the all-girl group from the late ’90s, TLC and their major hit, “Unpretty.”   “You can buy your hair if it won&#8217;t grow. You can fix your nose if you say so, you can buy all the makeup that M.A.C. can make, but if you can look inside you, find out who am I to be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty.”</p>
<p>If we look to the bible for wisdom, we see in scripture that <strong>God&#8217;s definition of beauty</strong> is the complete opposite of what the world has taught us.</p>
<blockquote><p><em><strong>&#8230; Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God&#8217;s sight. </strong>&#8211; Acts 13:22</em></p></blockquote>
<p>Never let anyone make you feel unpretty including yourself, never succumb to drastic lengths to make the outer appearances shine whilst there is dullness on the inside.  Feeling confident about who you are is a key to a happier life so when you wear your eyeshadow or your favourite lipstick you do so because <strong>YOU are PRETTY</strong>.</p>
<div class="saboxplugin-wrap" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person" itemscope itemprop="author"><div class="saboxplugin-tab"><div class="saboxplugin-gravatar"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Contributor-Profile-Image-1.png" width="100"  height="100" alt="Christian Blog and Online Women&#039;s Ministry in South Africa - Cup of Faith" itemprop="image"></div><div class="saboxplugin-authorname"><a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/author/hazel-moonsamy/" class="vcard author" rel="author" data-wpel-link="internal"><span class="fn">Hazel Moonsamy</span></a></div><div class="saboxplugin-desc"><div itemprop="description"><p>Hazel Moonsamy has 15 years of experience in local Government serving in the Mayor&#8217;s office of Ethekwini, stationed with the Deputy Mayor. She has extensive political knowledge and shares a desire to aid the less fortunate. She is passionate about her walk with Christ and does not shy away from revealing her love for Christ. Hazel has been the news anchor on Megazone Radio for two years and currently hosts her own show called the Saturday Rejoice on Radio Hallelujah. She attends New Hope Ministries in Durban. She has taught Sunday School since the age of 12 years, led worship, and was actively involved in youth and Children&#8217;s ministry.</p>
</div></div><div class="clearfix"></div><div class="saboxplugin-socials "><a title="Instagram" target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/hazelmoonsamy/" rel="noopener nofollow external noreferrer" class="saboxplugin-icon-grey" data-wpel-link="external"><svg aria-hidden="true" class="sab-instagram" role="img" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 448 512"><path fill="currentColor" d="M224.1 141c-63.6 0-114.9 51.3-114.9 114.9s51.3 114.9 114.9 114.9S339 319.5 339 255.9 287.7 141 224.1 141zm0 189.6c-41.1 0-74.7-33.5-74.7-74.7s33.5-74.7 74.7-74.7 74.7 33.5 74.7 74.7-33.6 74.7-74.7 74.7zm146.4-194.3c0 14.9-12 26.8-26.8 26.8-14.9 0-26.8-12-26.8-26.8s12-26.8 26.8-26.8 26.8 12 26.8 26.8zm76.1 27.2c-1.7-35.9-9.9-67.7-36.2-93.9-26.2-26.2-58-34.4-93.9-36.2-37-2.1-147.9-2.1-184.9 0-35.8 1.7-67.6 9.9-93.9 36.1s-34.4 58-36.2 93.9c-2.1 37-2.1 147.9 0 184.9 1.7 35.9 9.9 67.7 36.2 93.9s58 34.4 93.9 36.2c37 2.1 147.9 2.1 184.9 0 35.9-1.7 67.7-9.9 93.9-36.2 26.2-26.2 34.4-58 36.2-93.9 2.1-37 2.1-147.8 0-184.8zM398.8 388c-7.8 19.6-22.9 34.7-42.6 42.6-29.5 11.7-99.5 9-132.1 9s-102.7 2.6-132.1-9c-19.6-7.8-34.7-22.9-42.6-42.6-11.7-29.5-9-99.5-9-132.1s-2.6-102.7 9-132.1c7.8-19.6 22.9-34.7 42.6-42.6 29.5-11.7 99.5-9 132.1-9s102.7-2.6 132.1 9c19.6 7.8 34.7 22.9 42.6 42.6 11.7 29.5 9 99.5 9 132.1s2.7 102.7-9 132.1z"></path></svg></span></a></div></div></div><p>The post <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/pretty-girl-syndrome/" data-wpel-link="internal">Pretty Girl Syndrome</a> appeared first on <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za" data-wpel-link="internal">Cup of Faith</a>.</p>
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		<title>40 and Expired</title>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Hazel Moonsamy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Nov 2020 06:00:27 +0000</pubDate>
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					<description><![CDATA[<a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/40-and-expired/" title="40 and Expired" rel="nofollow" data-wpel-link="internal"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-768x512.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Christian Blog and Online Women&#039;s Ministry in South Africa - Cup of Faith" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-700x467.jpg 700w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-600x400.jpg 600w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2.jpg 1920w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></a><p>When I occasionally re-think life’s choices, I am often led to a place of frenzy then followed by a trio of sarcasm, irony, and some doses of melancholy. It usually concludes mentally in a series of unfortunate events. I must concede, the latter baffles me,...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/40-and-expired/" data-wpel-link="internal">40 and Expired</a> appeared first on <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za" data-wpel-link="internal">Cup of Faith</a>.</p>
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										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/40-and-expired/" title="40 and Expired" rel="nofollow" data-wpel-link="internal"><img width="768" height="512" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-768x512.jpg" class="webfeedsFeaturedVisual wp-post-image" alt="Christian Blog and Online Women&#039;s Ministry in South Africa - Cup of Faith" style="float: left; margin-right: 5px;" link_thumbnail="1" decoding="async" loading="lazy" srcset="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-768x512.jpg 768w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-300x200.jpg 300w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-700x467.jpg 700w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2-600x400.jpg 600w, https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Featured-Image-3-2.jpg 1920w" sizes="(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px" /></a><p>When I occasionally re-think life’s choices, I am often led to a place of frenzy then followed by a trio of sarcasm, irony, and some doses of melancholy. It usually concludes mentally in a series of unfortunate events. I must concede, the latter baffles me, and yet to date I often dabble with periods of re-thinking. Overthinking is what my sub-conscience will attest to, never allowing my innermost sacred thoughts to be exposed, thus a victory of sorts, if ever there was a battle. I must say that this thought process did not come easy and perhaps the sheer madness of it all started out as a blueprint for an idealist’s version of life’s course. For the most part, my inner battles and confusion thoroughly lie in those misconceptions embedded in the very fibres of my being since adolescence.</p>
<p>In August this year I had a birthday and with that came a big celebration. Now, with all birthday’s I have had such celebrations. Family, love, good food, the cake, presents, pics and all gratefulness to God. It was indeed a wonderful time and the family went all out to ensure great splendour. A few hours before my birthday, I had the occasional re-thinking session, the one where the infamous trios appear and calmly reassure. However, this time there was a change in pattern. I thought back to my recent visit to the mall where I bumped into an old school mate. Naturally, she was married with three and a half kids, a husband, a house, an SUV, a garden with an electric fence, in-laws, vacations, and Peppa Pig. Yep, all that in one go! And with her pitiful eyes I was reassured that one day, I too shall live the dream.</p>
<p>How did this go so wrong? Has society no thought or consideration? Almost every time I encounter some aunty, relative or person of interest, I am reminded of the ‘unbearable thought,’ of never been married or having children at 40. Poor me, how do I live with myself having not been given the opportunity to be a bride? It’s almost a scene straight out of a Nora Ephron flick, queue the violins and enters the great big tragedy, their voices echo, “Do not worry, all in good timing,” but their eyes concur, “There must be something wrong with you, shame.” Now, this is not a bitter 40-year old’s plight to demand justice nor do I sit in a corner listening to, “Iris” waiting to end it all. It is all but humorous how those passing the judgment and, in some cases, the sentencing stand so firm in their convictions.</p>
<p>Yes, I dream the dream, I would be happy to be a wife and a mother and attain a lifetime membership to the prestigious womanhood club. It does not mean there are no suitors or admirers waiting in the’ lobby,’ with potential for great wooing. However, some dreams are delayed or derailed and for most, we rather are cautious when choosing our lifetime partner, or we haven’t met him yet or perhaps for many, it may never happen and maybe, just maybe it is not on the to-do list. We, single women, are single for a reason, the majority of us have our standards or expectations or just downright fussy, none the less we have something or the other that has put a” stopper” on the quest for a permanent co-inhibitor. Whilst I can give you a host of reasons why women in their 40’s are single, my aim is merely to convey a brief guide on what not to say to a single, 40-year-old woman with no kids with the hope that the stigma attached to us will end. After all, she is still a woman and is yet to walk the green mile. (I hear the metal cups on the iron bars clapping whilst,(”Dead woman walking ringers in tune”).</p>
<p>Who made these rules and why haven’t I complied yet? Is it too late for saving private single? Have I reached my expiry date? Where is the sticker that says best before? Are there factory resetting options? Or can I choose the default settings and is there an off button. Finally, can we return to sender with a reject tag attached? Ah, this imagery coupled with my un-imaginary thoughts. Life as they know it ends at 40. Searching for a manual on how to be conversationally considerate and not stupid when engaging a single 40-year-old, the results are, sadly none and for everything else there’s Instagram.</p>
<blockquote><p><em>Dear Aunty and persons of Notable Interest, </em></p>
<p><em>Please kindly assist me in my quest for the truth. What entitlement does the married have above the unmarried, what have we endured to suffer their shame of spinsterhood ? (not the name I would like to be called) It is as though we have broken some sort of human moral code or ethic and that we should be shunned from society, banished to the mountains to hide in contempt, almost a minute away from walking the plank. </em></p>
<p><em>No, dear Aunty, I am okay, there is nothing wrong with me. In between obtaining my degree and pursuing my career I did indeed meet Prince Charming; it didn’t work out and marriage was not goal of the day. </em></p>
<p><em>Dear Aunty, note that it is not about holding onto a man, whilst travelling the world over (okay only North America) and discovering new found treasurers, I met Mr International, it was love but alas I decided to relocate and marriage seized to exist. </em></p>
<p><em>Dear Aunty, no I am not the problem, I did meet a man for about two years, he was off course,’ damaged’ in his head, happily so, I dodged a bullet. </em></p>
<p><em>Yes, dear society, I am single at 40 and that is okay. My mere aim in life is not seeking the ultimate goal of marriage, but to live a happy, healthy and fulfilled one. In addition, I do not seek validation from humans but hope to be assured that although this world is plagued with many issues that serve not in favour of my kind, I hope that one day women who remain unmarried and childless can live a life without brutal judgment. And whilst I hold a gripe with those people who look down at us singles in their 40’s, I do hold accountable society’s influence in shaping that kind of mindsets.</em></p></blockquote>
<p>Think way back to your childhood, every storybook had a fairytale encounter with a Prince, riding in on his white horse to save the distressed Princess. Think long and hard about how we as little girls started to buy into the whole Disney romance with a prince charming scenario. For most, it was then that we were forced to discover this fairytale kind of love or else we would never have the happily ever after ending. That very template of what life was to offer, subconsciously sent some of us on an unnamed mission to ensure happiness. This, for some, only created the illusion that true happiness resulted in finding a suitor and living happily ever after and if you did not find your Prince then you would end up old and alone, almost as if that was the ultimate punishment. God forbid a happy life lived after 40 with no hubby and a kid in tow or marrying at 50. I do not regret the childhood bestowed upon me but I do wish that society was kinder and much more encouraging to little girls who preferred spy novels as opposed to Cinderella.</p>
<p>Oh, but do not be fooled, Disney is not the only culprit in the plot, every movie from the old Hollywood era brought us a damsel in distress in need of love personified. I mean how could you not choke up when the movie Gone with the Wind’s character and starring Vivian Leigh, who lived her entire life secretly yearning for Ashley, or else life was not meaningful and thus the phrase by Clark Gable was born,” Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” Yes, indeed my sentiments exactly. Fast forward and almost decades later movies and novels sublimely still carry the same messages, perhaps those storylines sell, and profit is the main goal. Thank God for G I Jane and Mulan. Whilst my all-time favourite rom-com movie is of course, “Love Actually,” my ideas on love and life does not prompt me to only live to walk down the aisle.</p>
<p>No, I am not a rebel, neither am I, a revolutionist. You might be interested to note that there is a whole community of 40 somethings that share the exact sentiments as me. Yes, we are out there. Although I do not think that an entire decade of Hollywood or Bollywood movies could easily change some mindsets in favour of us 40 something single girls, there are those still roaming around contently with the notion that I have not passed my expiry date.</p>
<p>In addition, traditions and culture only add to the already preconceived ideas about my worth. In fact, the Bible is more forgiving when it comes to being single than even my own relatives. Paul speaks of being single as a “gift” <strong>(1 Cor. 7:7)</strong>, and Jesus says it is good, “for those to whom it has been given” <strong>(Matt. 19:11)</strong>. In India, women in their thirties are looked down upon and often verbally insulted for remaining unmarried, let alone the forties club. Most women have to endure not only been frowned upon but openly being denounced and shamed. From been considered a “cheap woman” to a &#8220;loose woman” the name-calling is endless.</p>
<p>So, dear society when engaging with the single 40-year-old, please proceed with caution. Do not assume that I am living an unfulfilled life with borderline depression, in constant haste to settle down. On contrary, I welcome conversation and banter, a joke here and there and even some gossip. But behold, I draw a visible line when you allude to my singleness with hopes to find me a man because you know of someone who has a nephew and his wife had just died. Spare me the kindness please, and move on briskly, we don’t, &#8216;take&#8217; nicely to your kind. And yes, I am fully aware of tinder and dating apps. Thank you for the neighbour’s details so I can stalk him on Facebook and no, please do not pass my number to your WhatsApp contacts. I appreciate your ability to outline my unspeakable flaws and do hope that we meet again soon so that I can endure your passive verbal bashing.</p>
<p>Suffice to say, I entered 40 with great expectations. I am just a year older on the calendar but feel exactly as I did at 39. So, if I received a penny for every time I was asked if I am single or married, oh yes, I would be listed on the Forbes 100 rich list. In a more realistic world, it would be one of life’s greatest joy to not be placed in a box where I am forced to define myself according to the standards of the world. Life as I know it is still continuing and I thank God for that. My reward has always been knowing Jesus and only He shall direct my journey.</p>
<div class="saboxplugin-wrap" itemtype="http://schema.org/Person" itemscope itemprop="author"><div class="saboxplugin-tab"><div class="saboxplugin-gravatar"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" src="https://cupoffaith.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Contributor-Profile-Image-1.png" width="100"  height="100" alt="Christian Blog and Online Women&#039;s Ministry in South Africa - Cup of Faith" itemprop="image"></div><div class="saboxplugin-authorname"><a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/author/hazel-moonsamy/" class="vcard author" rel="author" data-wpel-link="internal"><span class="fn">Hazel Moonsamy</span></a></div><div class="saboxplugin-desc"><div itemprop="description"><p>Hazel Moonsamy has 15 years of experience in local Government serving in the Mayor&#8217;s office of Ethekwini, stationed with the Deputy Mayor. She has extensive political knowledge and shares a desire to aid the less fortunate. She is passionate about her walk with Christ and does not shy away from revealing her love for Christ. Hazel has been the news anchor on Megazone Radio for two years and currently hosts her own show called the Saturday Rejoice on Radio Hallelujah. She attends New Hope Ministries in Durban. She has taught Sunday School since the age of 12 years, led worship, and was actively involved in youth and Children&#8217;s ministry.</p>
</div></div><div class="clearfix"></div><div class="saboxplugin-socials "><a title="Instagram" target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/hazelmoonsamy/" rel="noopener nofollow external noreferrer" class="saboxplugin-icon-grey" data-wpel-link="external"><svg aria-hidden="true" class="sab-instagram" role="img" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" viewBox="0 0 448 512"><path fill="currentColor" d="M224.1 141c-63.6 0-114.9 51.3-114.9 114.9s51.3 114.9 114.9 114.9S339 319.5 339 255.9 287.7 141 224.1 141zm0 189.6c-41.1 0-74.7-33.5-74.7-74.7s33.5-74.7 74.7-74.7 74.7 33.5 74.7 74.7-33.6 74.7-74.7 74.7zm146.4-194.3c0 14.9-12 26.8-26.8 26.8-14.9 0-26.8-12-26.8-26.8s12-26.8 26.8-26.8 26.8 12 26.8 26.8zm76.1 27.2c-1.7-35.9-9.9-67.7-36.2-93.9-26.2-26.2-58-34.4-93.9-36.2-37-2.1-147.9-2.1-184.9 0-35.8 1.7-67.6 9.9-93.9 36.1s-34.4 58-36.2 93.9c-2.1 37-2.1 147.9 0 184.9 1.7 35.9 9.9 67.7 36.2 93.9s58 34.4 93.9 36.2c37 2.1 147.9 2.1 184.9 0 35.9-1.7 67.7-9.9 93.9-36.2 26.2-26.2 34.4-58 36.2-93.9 2.1-37 2.1-147.8 0-184.8zM398.8 388c-7.8 19.6-22.9 34.7-42.6 42.6-29.5 11.7-99.5 9-132.1 9s-102.7 2.6-132.1-9c-19.6-7.8-34.7-22.9-42.6-42.6-11.7-29.5-9-99.5-9-132.1s-2.6-102.7 9-132.1c7.8-19.6 22.9-34.7 42.6-42.6 29.5-11.7 99.5-9 132.1-9s102.7-2.6 132.1 9c19.6 7.8 34.7 22.9 42.6 42.6 11.7 29.5 9 99.5 9 132.1s2.7 102.7-9 132.1z"></path></svg></span></a></div></div></div><p>The post <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za/40-and-expired/" data-wpel-link="internal">40 and Expired</a> appeared first on <a href="https://cupoffaith.co.za" data-wpel-link="internal">Cup of Faith</a>.</p>
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